Untitled
by Raelae
Summary: After Renesmee left almost three years ago, she decides to make a short visit home. Longing to see her family she convinces herself that she can make them understand her reason for leaving.
1. Do I really want to do this?

Chapter One - Coming Home.

The journey back to forks was a long one, I was glad. I wasn't sure what was awaiting me when I finally returned.  
I'd been gone for years and in that time, I'd done things; Things I knew my family was bound to have heard by now. 'Maybe not,  
I thought to myself. I wasn't sure how Alice not being able to see me would affect her sight of the Volturi when I was with them.  
I hadn't even explained to them why I left, I know Daddy would understand and probably Emmet to... but that wouldn't appease their anger.  
I stopped in my tracks, if there had been any humans nearbye I would have seemed to appear out of thin air.

I breathed in through my mouth, tasting my surroundings. Jaz and Alice had been here recently, maybe a few months even, hunting. I could smell the decay of a herd of elk, almost washed away through time and the elements. I sat down on the flat surface of a tree trunk and breathed again.  
They'd sat here to, probably talking.. maybe Alice had seen this place dissapear and would know I'd be coming back? Would they know I wasn't planning to stay? I got up again, finalizing my resolve and began running again.

After a couple of hours of running, I knew I was close. This is where we would hunt when I was little. Sometimes just my parents and I,  
sometimes just me and Jake... The thought of him put a bad ache in my too fast heart and I could smell very old traces of him around the tree's. He hadn't been here since I'd left. Now the ache was followed with a pang, I missed him. He'd spent all my life with me,  
convinced that I was his future... I couldn't let it be true. Not after I left him, I just had to make him understand. I was walking now,  
incredibly slow, even for a human. I was only about a mile away now, it would be dusk by the time I reached the little cottage in the woods.  
It had been almost three years since I'd seen it. I was almost nine now, but you'd never know it from looking at me. It all rights, (except age)  
I was a full grown adult, maybe twenty-one by human standards. I reached the small stone cottage, smelling in the sweet scents. My shiny green convertable something-or-other was still parked in the back. The keys were in the ignition, as I'd always left them but the tires had frozen to the ground after not being used for years and a nice layer of rust had fallen intricately over the bottom half of the car.

My parents weren't here, the scent was a couple days old. Weird. I crept silently through the house, a huge ball of nerves forming in my chest.  
I reached my parents bedroom. The furniture had been rearranged, and the closet larger than my own room was full of all new things.  
Of course Alice would refresh their wardrobe with every new season. I moved past the room, gathering in all the sweet scents, reliving each of them on my tongue. I slowed down outside the door at the end of the hall, my door. It still had the picture on it that I'd drawn with Jake when I'd been two (seven.) I opened the door, holding my breath. When I'd turned five (thirteen) he hadn't been aloud in anymore but the scent remained. It was absolutely intoxicating at first.. then the burn in my throat returned and I remembered my reasons for leaving all over again. 'It wouldn't hurt too much' I thought, 'to just lay here a while.' I knew the thoughts were wrong as I thought them, but this was better than him actually being here. That smell would be too much to bear and I don't think I'd be strong enough... This way I could at least try to prepare myself. I layed down my old queen bed and curled the covers around me.. that smell! No matter how faint it was still potent. A low growl ripped willingly out of my throat and I closed my eyes, succumbing to the dreams I knew would await.

I woke up to being jerked out of bed by stone arms, burning cold to my hot skin. "I knew you were coming! I saw the whole damn place dissapear!" Alice's high chirpy voice was so happy, so sure. It almost hurt to wonder if it was real or not. "Where have you been Nessie?! You know I can't see where you're going! Why'd you run off like that?" I could hear myself stutter, unsure what to say back. Would she understand? "Oh nevermind! I'm just so glad you're back!" She pulled away from me, looking me over. "Those clothes are a mess Renesme! I'm ashamed of you!" She said with a smile. "C'mon, let's find something better for you." She pulled me up off the bed. I looked down at my clothes. Maybe a little blood and dirt here and there, but not unfashionable. I'd gotten used to being dirty. "What's wrong with this?" I moaned. "C'mon Ness whatever you've been off doing was obviously dirty work. Just look at you! You shoulda picked up some hiking gear or something." I looked at myself in the large mirror. I was only a little messy. My bouncy curls had been up in a pony tail for a long time, my shirt was ripped innapropriately with various specks of blood from whatever I had eaten recently, and I wasn't even wearing shoes. I wiggled my toes and smiled. Once Jake had told me that we were all part of the earth, and that wearing shoes just kept us from our rightful place. He wasn't serious, but I hadn't worn shoes much since then. "Yeah, I guess I could maybe use a shower?" She smiled at me, "Great!" she said, "You go hop in the shower and I'll pick out an amazing reunion outfit for you! Jaz was the only one that believed me, when I said you were coming back. Boy are they gonne be surprised!" I turned from her and walked toward the door in my room that led to the outside. I'd begged Mom and Daddy to let me have an outside shower, and I'd won. With the beautiful landscape and privacy, it had always felt like I was bathing in a waterfall. Amazing. "Hurry up!" she yelled after me, "Two minutes, jeez Alice!" I hadn't meant to be short with her but good Lord, my shower was amazing it was very high on my 'things-I-missed' list.

Two minutes quickly turned into thirty-five. Most of which I was spending admiring the modern plumbing. The water came out of an almost clear glass wall jutting out of the ground right up against the base of three tree's right behind the cottage. I could see the whole forest from here. From the mountains, to the tree's to a small waterfall far off in the distance. I could hear it's cold water rushing down. When Daddy was out hunting I would sneak and bathe there, but he didn't like me being naked so close to Quilette grounds. Mom trusted Jake a whole lot more than Daddy ever would. Jake.. the ache was back. I knew it was time to go in. I stepped away from the water, draped my over-sized towel around me and ran home.

I stepped back into my room to see Alice sitting on the bed, fussing over a dress much too elegant for me to want to wear. "It's perfect right?" she said looking back and forth between myself and the dress. "Uhm.." I said "do I have to wear something so... strapless?" I mumbled. Her face turned to a bright smile.  
"Yeah, I didn't think you'd go for this one. I can never be sure though since I can't see you!" she chirped, obviously annoyed at my dislike for the extravagent.  
"So, I picked out this instead" she walked over to the dresser and pulled off a stack of piled clothes. "Plain and ordinary, just like you like it. Which I SO don't understand with how pretty you are." "Thanks," I said as I pulled them on, jeans and a lowcut, half see through long sleeve tee with a camisol underneath,  
"It's perfect." I ran quickly to my parents giant closet and found the most beautiful, high high heeled pair of 'fuck me' shoes I could find. And she said I had no fashion sense, ha! I Love me some Jimmy Choo's. I walked back to the room, fully dressed. My hair was still a little damp but you could already see the tight ringlets forming. "I don't know if I can do this Alice, what if they're like... reeeeally pissed off at me?" They'd all taken the last almost nine years to take care of me, and I'd just dissapeared on them. "C'mon," she said "we've all missed you so much. They'll just be glad you're home." She nodded reassuringly but I was invariably unconvinced. Hand in hand we ran back to the house, guilt rolling off of every inch of my skin. Won't Jaz be thrilled. 


	2. Thank you, Jasper!

Chapter Two -

We reached the main door quickly, I paused for the smallest millisecond, wondering whether I should knock. Alice opened the door and walked in, pulling me hard behind her. I stood next to her and looked around. Several beautifully pale and shocked faces were staring at me. Jaz got to me first, no surprise there.  
He could probably feel my guilt from a mile away. His arms were tight around me and I dropped Alice's hand to hug him back, hard. He was instantly using his gift, trying to wash away my guilt and fear replacing it with nothing but Love. His scent was comforting and familiar, as the whole house was. He lifted his arms softly and put them on the sides of my head, angling it down and kissing me on the forehead. I put my hand to his face, and projected my thoughts at him,_'Thanks Jaz. I missed you.'_

He smiled and turned away from me, looking at the others. I could tell he was sensing their moods. Thankfully, his smile never faltered. I turned to look at the rest of my family and before I knew it I was across the room, holding tightly to my Grandmother, Esme. If she could I know she would have been spilling tears of joy. One after another I hugged the members of my family, crying silently the whole time. I hugged Uncle Emmett last,  
he'd always been my favorite. He grabbed hold of me and spun me in circles. "Where you been Nessie? We've missed the Hell out of you!" I Shoved my face in his neck and grumbled, "You don't even want to know man, seriously." He stopped spinning and squeezed me tight before putting me down. "Oh, well, you're back now. That's all that matters right?" I smiled, knowing he would be hurt the worst when I left again. He might understand though. Dad had told me he'd felt it once. His own temptator, but then again, Dad had also told me that he'd killed her.

I looked upstairs hopefully, knowing that they weren't there. Emmett caught me looking. "Don't worry, they should be back tonight. They went hunting over the weekend. I looked down at my feet, I knew I shouldn't be scared of seeing them. I'd missed them so much, and surely they'd missed me to. Daddy would understand but he'd still be furious, and mom... she'd once told me she had a problem about people leaving her. I can't imagine what my absence had done to her. She had been the one to beg Dad to stay, when he was protecting her. She would be against me leaving again, and she would tell me that I can do it, that Dad did. She was human more recently though.  
She would understand that killing Jake wasn't the ONLY thing I wanted to do when I smelled that sweet, luscious fiery scent.. I felt the burn in my throat again. Only a mere shadow of the pain I had felt when I'd last seen him. I knew I would have to hunt before seeing him. I'd probably have to take down a few forests to be able to ignore his smell, if I even could. It would be so easy and his dumb-ass would be all too willing. I'd only have to give him a kiss and he'd forget everything. I could kiss his lips slowly and pull his hair back leaving his neck wide and unprotected, move my mouth slowly down.... I could feel how easy it would be for my sharp dangerous teeth to sink into his throat. My throat wasn't the only thing was aching now. "Renesme!" I snapped back to reality, feeling guiltier than ever. Jasper had definately noticed that.. how embarrassing! Well, at least he knew why I had left now. He looked at me with his eyes wide for a second and abruptly started laughing.

"C'mon Em, let's go" I grumbled starting out the door. He followed behind me with a very quizzical look on his face. When he reached the forest near the house I could hear Jaz still laughing at me, though not so loudly now. I could hear him start on about 'damn teenagers' before I was out of earshot. Emmett and I took off into the forest at full speed.

After a couple minutes of racing (he let me win), we were at a clearing. We climbed to a high tree and looked down. There was a small river on the outer edge of the clearing and we could see several bucks and doe drinking, even a few fawn that weren't very steady on their legs yet. Sparing their life wasn't as easy as not killing them. They were obvious newborns, without their mothers to nurse them they wouldn't survive. "Not them Emmett," even if I hadn't have said he would have known how I felt. "Look Ness, there's a couple big bucks over there" he nodded toward the far end of the river. I looked at him and we'd both decided. We pounced.

After a few minutes there was nothing left in them. The group that was down river ran, a fawn, in it's confusion ran the wrong way. I ran in font of it and growled, scaring it enough to force it to turn around and run toward it's family. A brave buck, assumingly it's father ran towards me thinking I meant to eat it's young. It meant to attack me with it's antlers. It was dead in seconds, drained in minutes and the fawn was long gone running towards it's herd. I knew I hadn't needed the buck, I'd been full and I could have easily jumped from it leaving it nothing to attack. Emmett was on to a new animal, away from the clearing.. I followed his scent and found him draining a grizzly. "Nice one man, he's pretty big" I said, honestly impressed. Apparently he'd stepped up his game while I was gone. That was okay, I had to.

We spent the next hours out-doing each other. Finding larger and larger animals, both of us past uncomfortably full.


	3. Half the story is still the truth right?

Chapter Three

We returned home slowly, able to run but prefering to walk. The silence was fine with me but was obviouly getting to him. Several times he opened his mouth to speak, thought better and closed it again. We were almost to the cottage now, but I knew he'd go past it and into the main house. Emmett eventually decided it was important enough to talk now. "So.." he said. "So." I replied, clearly not anticipating his next words. "Why'd you leave for huh? You know if it was something really bad you could have come to any of us for help." I kept walking, he stopped. "We really could have helped you Ness." I stopped to, waiting for him but I never said anything back.  
"You're leaving again aren't you?" I sighed. "I can't stay here Emmett," I searched for the words. "It's not anything to do with you guys, I Love you all. It's.... it's Jake"

I could instantly see the anger in his eyes, questioning my words. "Did he hurt you? I don't care about the treaty or imprint or any of that, I'll kill him." I could see his muscular arms tense up, and I knew if the answer were yes he would immediately be gone and I don't know if I could catch up to him then. "No Em, it's not like that. Jake's not like that. It's.. well basically it's me." The ache was getting worse. "I was okay with everything for a while, he was my best friend since the time I was born. After I got older though it was different. I don't like this imprint thing, it's not fair to think that I am the only person he could ever be happy with. It's kinda like I don't get a choice y'know?" I stopped for a minute gathering my thoughts, I wondered if I should tell him about Roman... "But one day I went over to the beach to meet him and he just.. smelled... different. Better and worse I guess." The anger on his face instantly turned to understanding. "Oh, Ness." He was by my side instantly hugging me.

"I didn't know it was that bad. I mean.. I don't like that imprint crap either but that's bad." He looked confused. "Why do you think it happened? I mean... he's been near you your whole life and he never smelled like that right?" I thought over the many theories in my head. "Well, Aro thinks it's the human part of me. Growing up and hormones and all that. He thinks it's only me that's changed." The understanding turned back to anger. Yikes. "You went to the Volturi? You left us and went to the Volturi", the last part wasn't a question. "Well, I went to find the others. The half-vampires. I knew they would probably have found a few of them already after what happened with us," I knew he couldn't grudge me that. He still looked angry, but he spoke with compassion. It was very un-Emmett like. "What was it like there?" he asked. We started walking again, slower than before. "It wasn't that bad at first. They put on a good show of not being so sadistic, but I didn't live well there. I knew I wasn't going to stay long." We were silent again, still walking. "Did you find any others? Like you I mean.." "A few," I said "I didn't bother with Nahuel, since I'd already known about him but they had tracked down a few more. Six, not including Nahuel's sisters. I found one, Roman, and I have been traveling with him for some time now.

He was upset that I'd wanted to come home, so he told me to go alone" I said,_ 'and not to come back'_ I thought. I could feel the pressure behind my eyes. My Roman. I missed him but I couldn't face his anger. I wanted him to come with me but we were too close, and Jacob's imprint would only have set him off if he'd known. As it was he didn't like him and he was already rooting for me to kill him, just to get rid of the one smell I'd ever liked more than his. We walked further, never speeding up and talked about my travels with Roman, and the half-vapires we'd met. I knew he was beginning to see how much I missed my Roman.

We reached the cottage and the sun had just begun to set. I smelled the sweet scents that I had missed so much and I knew they were here. Emmett gave me one final hug and wispered in my ear "They'll understand Ness, and they'll help. We don't want you to leave again" He kissed me on the cheek and continued quickly to the house. The breeze shifted, and I could hear him. "She's back my Love," and then I heard running. In seconds my mother was there, right in front of me. "I knew you'd come home, my Renesme". She put her arms around me, as gently as any vampire could. Her sweet peal bell voice was so reassuring, so Loving. I felt horrible for ever having thought it was okay to leave her. I put my head in her shoulder and her hair, taking in the sugary scent. It smelled like home.

I lifted my head up and saw him, standing there. I could almost feel the anger emanating off of him. Damn where was Jasper when I needed him? I let go of Mom and walked to him slowly, by the time I'd reach him he hadn't moved an inch but I could see the dry tears clouding his eyes. I felt the pressure behind my eyes begin to build again. I raised my hand slowly, and he never moved. I placed my palm on his cheek and I showed him everything. I showed him they day that I changed, Jacobs scent and the immediate burn in my throat and how much I had wanted to kill him. I showed him the Volturi and me with them. I showed him the humans I had killed with them and how I'd felt after drinking their blood, looking in the mirror at my bright crimson eyes. I showed him my Roman and the Love I felt for him. I showed him all the other half-vampires we'd met. I showed him Roman yelling at me before I'd left about leaving him and going back to the vampires and my pathetic cub. I showed him everything I could think of to make him understand, hoping that he could let go of his anger. I lowered my hand. "Daddy, I'm so sorry" the pressure behind my eyes broke and I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I looked up at him, shock was etched on his open mouth and wide eyes. He took my head in his hand and pulled it to his chest, putting his other arm around me. "My darling, I've missed you so much, I never imagined how much pain you've been in. I'm so very sorry."

I stayed there for a very long time, just crying into my fathers chest. At one unnoticed point my mother joined us, putting her arms around us both. We could have spent hours there, I don't know. Time didn't matter at that point. We could all hear the phone ringing from the inside of the house. I barely raised my head is rocognance, but Mom pulled away from us breathing a hard sigh. I knew she was taking in the scent of our family, whole again. "I should answer that" she said. Kissing me on the cheek and moving quickly towards the house. My father and I walked back slowly, his arm around my shoulders and my head resting on his. I was just a head shorter than him, I must have grown about an inch since I'd left then. We could hear Mom answering the phone but we never walked any faster.

"I think Aro's theory is right," he said "it is very likely that your human body becoming an adult would mean your vampire characteristics would also reach their peak. It only makes sense that he woud smell different to you." He paused waiting for a response that wouldn't come. We reached the house and walked in. Mom was off the phone and she kissed me on the cheek as walked by.  
"Sleep well, my Love" she said sweetly. My father walked me back to my room, and we sat on the bed. "Ness, you're mother did the same thing to me when I met her and I resisted. You can to, you don't have to leave again." I could feel the hole in my heart lurch, as though it were wanting his words to be true. "But I'm not as strong as you Dad, you were over a hundred years old when that happened. I'm eight and a half." He laughed at my words, as he always did when I complained about being so young. "I know Darling, but he is much stronger than your mother was."  
I was silently shocked. I'd never even thought of that in any of my equations. He always seemed so fragile to me, so impossibly human. I'd never thought that he might actually be strong enough or heal fast enough that he could fend me off. I know he would never actually fight me, but I imagined he'd be very irritated when I tried to y'know... eat him. My father laughed softly, kissing me on the forehead. "Goodnight Daddy" I said in a distracted wisper. "I Love you" He looked at me as he crossed the room and stood in the doorway. He sighed, "Oh to hear those words again! Sleep well my darling." I searched around and found my blankets folded on the dresser and pulled it like a cape around me, burying my face in my shoulder and laying on the bed. That smell! Oh, it was so delicious and it burned my throat so... I knew I would have to see him soon but for now I curled the blanket around me tighter and fell asleep.

I was concious, but not wanting to move. I layed in bed, eyes closed. I breathed in the so faint scent that burnt my throat down to my whole chest. I heard the phone ring again. I could swear I'd heard it several times in my sleep. I could hear my dads deep voice answering. "Yes?" I couldn't tell who was on the other end, but my dad responded angrily to them, "She's not even awake yet _MUTT_,  
can't you let her sleep in peace? When she's ready she will find you." That must have been the end of the conversation, because I was sure I heard the phone crack as he placed it back down on the receiver. "Is he mad?" I wispered, knowing he would hear me. In a second he was in my room, kneeling next to the bed. "Not at you Darling, he's angry because I did not allow him to come over while you slept. He would have woken you up." So I had heard the phone in my sleep.. "How did he know I was here?" He sighed in an uneeded breath, "They followed a scent, not yours, but another vampire has been traveling adjacent to your path. They called to see if we were expecting a visitor that was unaware of the treaty. Whoever it is was weaving in and out of the line. They asked permission to cross in packs to track the stranger. On the way he caught a bit of your scent and came here, immediately. We met him at the main house and told him to go home." He smiled his arrogant crooked smile,  
"he was furious." I could imagine the squabble in my head, it was an old one and they'd had it several times before. Jacob showing up at the crack of dawn when his patrol was over, wanting to wake me up and spend the day together... My father, Jaz, Grandpa.. whoever was there would tell him that I needed my sleep. Rose always liked to do it the most, telling him that I was off with some-one else all night and that I had only recently gone to sleep. Jake knew it wasn't true, but Rose Loved the way it stung him. I pulled the covers off of me, "I don't know if this is a good idea, but I can't just leave him waiting." I knew exactly where he'd be, the place he'd always taken me to when I was younger. I knew it well and I knew he'd be waiting for me. I took a look down at my clothes.

"Ugh! I need Alice!" I threw the covers on the floor and stomped past my Dad, he followed me laughing the whole way. I stomped all they way to their closet, walked straight in and found my favorite black, four and a half inch stilletto's. They had the longest heel and I'd have to wear them to at least be level with Jake's chin. Almost. Why did he have to be so damn tall? I gave Daddy a quick hug and mumbled something about being back later and headed for the door, but he stopped me, standing behind me and placing a hand on my shoulder. "Remember Love, he's a strong kid. He's not really as gentle as he's always shown you." I looked up at him, hoping it were true... just in case. "Thanks Daddy", I turned back around and ran out to the house. I jumped directly into the wide open window and into Alice's room. She'd known I was coming and had several outfits on the bed. "You know it's very odd seeing myself dissappear, just so you know." She handed me some clothes. "Try these."  
I unfolded the clothes, a mini skirt? "Next," I said throwing them on the ground. She handed me another outfit. Black shorts, with green tied up lace in place of the sides. I pulled them on. "Perfect, now I just need a shirt." She looked outside at the snow. "Really, you pick the shorts? You're so bad at blending in." she said it with obvious humor in her voice. "Hey," I bit back, "I'm way more human than any of you, besides it's Jake. I don't need to blend." She looked again at the snow. "Alright if you're sure." she said "I hate not being able to see you, I never know what's gonna happen!" I gave her an apologetic smile. I looked through the tops on the bed, finally picking one out. A green tee with some random name brand all over it. I was sure it was probably ninety dollars, knowing Alice. "Are you at least gonna wear a coat?" she asked, tentatively. I laughed. "I'll be fine Alice, really. It's not like I'm gonna get sick or cold or something." I looked it the mirror, fully dressed now and decided not to bother with my hair. I liked the ringlet curls barely above my waist. I was glad to say no-one had ever once told me to get a haircut, so I wasn't the only one that liked them so much.

"Thanks, Alice. I gotta go." I kissed her on the cheek, silencing her goodbye, and jumped back out the window.


	4. I'm never gonna do this right

Chapter Four

I reached the line in a few short minutes, pausing for only a second. I took in the smell of the wolves as I ran. It was so much easier to take in Jake's scent when it was clouded with others. I focused on the run, rather than the burning and soon I was on the slush covered beach. I looked up at the cliff, about half way down in the rough stone I could see the dark hole. I ran over to the rocks beneath it and began my climb. That smell, it was so strong now! The burn in my throat was horrible, the thirst was worse than I had ever felt it. I held my breath, trying to cast away the scent. It didn't help. My hands had reached the ledge when I felt the large warm hand pull me up, I felt the other hand slip around my waist and pull me to him, so warm. I could feel my teeth as if they'd sharpened that very second.

"Shit Jake, stop!" I pushed him, too hard, away from me. I could hear the rocks crumble as he hit them, but he didn't seem to have noticed the rocks. "Ness, it's okay! It's just me!" "Stay right there Jake, don't move! Please!" The hurt on his face was evident but I couldn't risk getting any closer. He was too close already and I could feel my breathing become ragged and uneven, trying to take in as little of the smell as possible. I stood there for several seconds, trying to steady myself despite the war going on in my body. I could feel the tears streak down my face, but I was concentrating too hard to care.

"Ness, what's wrong?" he moved a step closer, I moved a step back. "Jake... just stay there, please? I just... came to talk." He was pleading me with eyes, reaching toward me. "Babe c'mon, what's wrong?" He took another step forward, "Jake, I'm serious stay back!" The words were accented by an accidental growl. I glanced behind me, my heels were already brinking the edge I couldn't step back any farther. I would jump if I had to. "Ness, what the hell is going on?" I didn't know how I could possibly explain the pain to him, and I knew if I stayed too much longer I would hurt him. I closed my mouth and stopped breathing, hoping to block out the scent as he moved closer. He had both hands up in surrender, moving slowly, as if I was a wild animal. Maybe I was. Coming home to explain myself would be absolutely useless if I accidentally killed him. I knew the only way for him to fully understand would be to feel it himself. I cosed my eyes tight, letting only the tears escape, and I stiffened my body. He closed the space between us in record time, twisting his long arms around me, I felt his hot skin, so gentle, as he put a hand at the curve of my back and pulled me close to him. He entangled his other hand in my long curls. "Breathe Nessie, it's okay."

I didn't know what was about to happen, but I knew it was bad. 'It's the only way' I thought to myself. I opened my eyes and lifted them to his and put my hand hard on is face. I could see the redness fighting to break through his eyes. I opened my mouth and breathed in that intoxicating scent. 'Oh God.' I screamed it in my head and through my hands to him. It was worse then before, worse than the old poluted scent from my bed and from my dreams, it was worse than the last time I smelled it. I projected the burn, the guilt, the thirst... the desire. My hand clenched, my nails tearing his face. As soon as the blood had been drawn he had already begun to heal, but I broke. It was just irresistable. I watched his eyes widen, not knowing whether it was from fear or shock and I looked quickly down to his bare neck and back to his eyes. It was over.  
I felt my head move before I knew it had, it pulled itself to his unclothed flesh. The thick wolf skin melted like butter beneath my sharp teeth.

I could taste every drop on my tongue, every sip sliding down my throat. Like true Absinthe would be to a human, I could feel my vision begin to blur and my knee's becoming weak. I knew he was going to die if I didn't stop soon, my arms feebly pushed against him; urging him to run. His hand pulled me tighter, while his other grasped firmly onto the back of my head, still tangled in my hair. Why isn't he screaming, running.. something? The words in my head were dull, as if I were hearing them from far away. I pulled harder with my hands, now tracing every inch of his bare back. Every time the skin would heal, I would bite harder and without fail I would hear a soft moan. I liked the sound vibrating in his throat, as it jutted the blood out a little bit quicker. I knew he should be drained by now, I didn't know why he wasn't, but I still couldn't stop. The salty taste wet on my tongue, filled my whole body. I'd never felt anything more amazing. Even in all the time I'd shared with Roman... I felt his hands quickly take me by the shoulders and sharply pull me away from him. Fury was mapped out across his face and I could feel his hands shaking but none of it registered. "Who the FUCK is Roman?" I barely heard the words, the sweet thin little vein in his neck was starting to close, letting free a trickle of blood. I wanted that blood.

He put his hand on my chin and pulled my face roughly up to look at his. I was in a stupor. "Huh" I managed, my eyes darting back to the blood now trickling down his peck. "I said, who the fuck is Roman?" "Oh" shit. I'd been projecting unknowingly. He'd felt everything that I'd felt. That explained the not screaming and running, he'd felt my need and he needed it to. I breathed in trying to think of what to say, the sweet scent was still there, but so much more bearable now that his blood warmed me already. I think my temp might have even gone up a couple degree's. I still didn't know what to say. "He's uhm... a friend. Another half vampire."

Shit, Shit, Shit. "You didn't Ness, you couldn't have!" I'd heard him talk himself down a hundred times, trying to abate his anger so he could spend his time with me as a human. I reached to put my hands to his face. "I don't wanna fucking see it Ness! How could you?!" He released his tight grip and walked backwards, rubbing a hand through his short hair. "GODDAMNIT!" He reeled backwards and punched the wall of the cave, I could hear the rock crumble beneath his rage and I could smell the blood on his hands, the cuts already healing. He pulled his hand out of the hole in the wall and turned back around to me. He smelled better when he was angry, shit, but the burn was so tame compared to what it had been before. "I'm so sorry Jake." "Why then? How could you go and fuck that half breed and leave me here?" He ran back to me and grabbed onto my wrists, it hurt. "I was made for you Renesme, my entire life, my entire existence! I was made to fit you perfectly and you never even wanted me!" He was getting angrier, shaking uncontrollably.. his skin was getting hotter. He let go of my wrists and sat down on a rock, with his elbows on his knee's and his hands in his hair, looking at the ground. I could see his shaking lessen now, but I could see the single tears splashing against the ground. I walked closer and kneeled in front of him, putting my hands on his face and pulling it upward to look at me. He resisted, but I pulled harder, and won. His dark brown eyes were so full of pain, I could almost feel his agony just looking into them. I projected at him through my hand. 'I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you.' I let the truth of my words and all my guilt roll off of the words in his head. I knew he felt it as his face cringed, feeling my pain as well as his. I pulled his head into my shoulder, cradling it there and stroking his hair. "I never wanted to hurt you Jake, I thought leaving would protect you." I paused, waiting for a reaction, "I hadn't planned on coming back."

He looked up at me and pulled my hands off of him, angry mock twisting his perfect lips. "So what you figured you'd go and start a new life? Have a ton of half breed children and live happily ever after away from me? Am I really that horrible Ness?" He paused this time, waiting for my reaction. I didn't give him one, aside from the children thing he was right. "You can't really be happy with him." This time the words were soft, he knew they were true rather than just spitting out cold over-reactions he'd designed specifically to hurt me. "Jake, I wanted to kill you! I had to leave can't you see that? You felt it, I know you did and you saw what happened! I don't know why you aren't already dead!" He laughed, shoving off my concern. "You know I'm better than that. You take a drop and my body produces two more. I'd do it again to.." he stopped and looked directly into my eyes, "I'm not just some damn human Ness, when I said I can give you everything. I meant it." He ran a hand over his face, and over his neck. God he wasn't going to cut himself was he? I should kick him... "Look babe, not a scratch on me. I'm fine." I took a look at his neck,  
he was right. The skin was healed completely and the vein was running smooth to course. My eyes lingered momentarily and lingered back up to his face. Maybe I had known it subconciously but it still felt wrong. Hunting him, draining him, hurting him... Although he really hadn't seem to mind but that was my fault. I hadn't meant to project what I was feeling at him, if I hadn't I'm sure he would have screamed or at the very least tried to fight me off. He didn't look angry now, but I could see a little bit of hurt still etched in his pleading eyes. He walked over to me and put his chin on top of my head. I should have found higher heels. "We can work this out Ness, just don't leave again. I Love you." I put my arms around him, I'd heard the words a thousand times before but the effect had never been so great, I'd missed them so much. I'd missed his sarcasm, the way he said my name, the way he was so hopelessy devoted to me, and his heat. Roman ran about the same temperature as me, so he never felt warm to me but Jake... Jake was steady at about One-oh-eight to one-oh-nine. One twelve when angry. There was nothing so warm to me in this entire world. I knew if we stayed in this cave like this we'd never leave, and I pushed my thoughts into him. I missed sharing my thoughts with Jake. I used to only speak to him when others were around, preferring to share my feelings through touch. I'd missed this the most. "C'mon babe, lets go get some food. I'm starving." My stomach lurched at the idea, I could eat human food, and I did quite often when I spent time with Jake. He knew my favorite places and the foods I could stand to eat, mostly very rare meats and salty appetizers.. that kind of thing. I was just so absolutely full! Emmett and I had taken out several animals just the day before and Jake's blood today... well it filled my entire body. Head to toes. I wondered if it was possible for me to puke? I never had before but... Gross. "Yeah, okay let's go." I said the words but my body made no motion toward leaving. He looked down at my feet, "You gonna be able to climb down in those things?", he said lifting a brow at me accusingly. He was a bad liar, he Loved me in heels. The first time I'd ever worn them Daddy caught him thinking something apparently innapropriate and threw the shoes out. Jake left pretty bloody that day but he just kept apologizing and wouldn't fight back. "Hey, I am damn coordinated alright?" I smiled up at him and went to the mouth of the cave, I jumped down, landing almost silently and gracefully on my feet. Four and a hald inch heels and all.

We walked slowly away from my favorite diner. I hadn't had more than a couple of drinks, but Jake wasn't kidding about being starving so I let him eat. Meanwhile I'd talked about my time away, the other half-vampires I'd met. Except one of course, I don't think either of us were ready to discuss Roman yet. I talked about my time with the Volturi, leaving out the people I had well.. eaten. His response echo'd in my head, "So what, you gonna owe them like. a favor now?" I sincerely hoped I wouldn't. We got to the road out of town, heading for my house. "So what are you doing tonight?" I asked. He laughed, snorting some of his to-go coke from the diner. "Like I could really go home with you? Right. Your pop would break my nose again if I so much as stepped in your room. Can't sneak a whole lot with vamps around, especially your dad. I got patrol tonight babe, you know that." Right, he's been on the night run for the wolves for years. He liked to 'work' at night when I was asleep so he'd be free during the day. I'd always wondered when he'd had time to sleep. "Yeah, I guess I did know that. Sorry." We cut through the forest, I immediately started as fast as I could, reaching the drive way to the main house in minutes but Jake wasn't behind me as he'd been a second ago. I went back and traced his scent, finding he'd cut off left. "What's up? I totally just kicked your ass out there Jake." He put up a finger, motioning for me to be quiet and he wispered "Ness, do you know this scent?" Yes, "No", Shit, shit, shit! "Why's it matter?" I asked. "This is the guy we've been tracking.  
He's been running all over both sides of the line, and it doesn't look like he into vegetarian. We've already found two dead." Shit, shit, shit! Why would Roman follow me here? He told me not to come back! Jake could tell something was wrong, he came over and grabbed my hand, hoping I'd project it to him but all I showed him was worry. "C'mon, let's get you home" he said, pulling me quickly in the direction of the house. We reached the main house at record speed, we stopped on the front porch. He pulled me close to him, tilting my head up and leaning his down. "I might run an extra patrol in the morning, so I might not be back till afternoon tomorrow." I should have known. I projected my anxiety to him, but it only made him laugh. "You'll be asleep, you won't worry too much." I smiled knowing it was true, I could sleep through just about anything. He leaned forward, and stopped, his face so close to my own. I could smell his breath mingling with my own. "I'll see you tomorrow Ness." he wispered, and leaned in closer. The front door opened abruptly. Damnit Jasper. Jake backed away quickly, raising both arms in the air and laughing. "I surrender" he said, his eyes still on me as though he liked taunting Jaz. "Bye, Jake" I said soflty as I walked toward the door. He took off running into the forest, I knew he would phase when he got out of sight. I walked past Jaz and into the house. he followed behind me. "That boy has too many damn hormones" he said it soflty, as though to himself but I knew it was for me. Jeez, coming from Jasper that was like an entire birds-and-the-bee's conversation. He noticed my crimson eyes and after a second of confliction, decided not to say anything. I grimaced but was undoubtably grateful. I walked straight to the foyer and sat down next to my father at the piano. He was playing one of my favorites. I rested my head on his shoulder, my eye-lids closing instantly to avoid scrutinizing, and quickly fell asleep.


	5. What is it with this guy?

Chapter Five

I waited until I was deep in the woods before I phased. I didn't think Jasper would appreciate a nice healthy view of my butt as my clothes tore off. I didn't really care that much, but it would embarass Ness. I could picture the blood flushing her cheeks. She wasn't quite as pale as the vamps, but pretty damn close. Like Bella used to be. 'So she's really back then?' I heard Seth's thoughts questioning mine. 'Yeah, she is.' I thought back at him. I didn't want to think about what had happened today, so I pushed it out of my head and started briefing him on the new patrol we'd be doing tonight. I knew his thoughts about Ness were purely platonic, but it was still pretty personal stuff. 'I found the scent in the woods down by the Cullens' tonight, so I'm gonna patrol a little off the line and see if I can't pick it up again. I want you to keep on our side, search both sides of the waters to see if he might have swam somewhere.' 'Got it' he answered, and we both took off running. I knew Leah would be asleep, she'd been on patrol since noon today, so I figured I'd run around her usual loop to. 'Your pushing yourself Jake, you haven't slept since Nessie got back two days ago'. I ignored Seth, he probably knew I would. He'd grown up a lot since Ness left, because he had to deal with the pain in my head everyday, but he would always be a kid to me. I finished Leah's loop around the very outskirts of our line, closer to town and I went back. I circled around the Cullens' land, closer than I really needed to. I could hear Edwards playing and a light snore close to him. That would be Ness. Our relationship would have been a lot less stressed if she hadn't been such a Daddy's girl. I circled around the house again, knowing he'd been here. It smelled like he's circled the house to. I guess whoever it was wasn't a huge Cullen fan. I silently made my way to the woods outside the cottage. He'd been here to. I sniffed around cautiously following a faint trail. It didn't burn my nose as much as the other vamps smell did, so I figured he must be pretty far off. 'Seth, I found an old trace. Go back home and gather up some of Sam's pack', he replied quickly 'Got it'. I kept following the trail. It weaved through the woods spiratically, as though whoever it was wasn't sure where they were going. It didn't seem like they'd ever been here before. That's a plus. When we killed him we'd have the home field advantage. Even if he was old and powerful, he'd be no match for all of us. I followed the trail all the way to a hunting cabin, about eight miles north of the Cullen's place. The humans who built this house must be stupid, living so close to vampires.

I came to the front of the cabin and phased. I could smell it, the only people that were here were dead. Drained I suspected. I walked into the unlocked shack and went straight up the stairs, searching through the rooms until I found one containing a dresser. I searched through the drawers and pulled out a pair of black sweat pants. The waist looked good but I didn't know about the legs. I pulled them on. Too short! I sat on the dresser and pulled my legs up to my mouth, ripping the pants legs off right below my knee on each side. Good enough. I picked myself up and began to wonder around the house again. It seemed like this is where the vamp had been staying, but I still couldn't feel the right burn in my nose. Was there something besides a vampire that drank blood?

I went back down the stairs stealthily, searching for the basement door. I should at least identify the dead, try to find a way to tell their family that they'd never be coming home again. I found it at last. It even had a new looking lock on it. Like someone had doubly guarded these dead. Sheesh, how long had he been planning on keeping them? I tried to pull the lock open, but couldn't. So I settled for breaking it off. As it fell with a loud clang, I heard something. A too fast heart beat, it was just like Ness's but it was was wrong. It jutted around in unconstant patterns, as though it were filled with adrenaline. Like a jack hammer instead of a humming bird. I turned quickly. "Hello, Jacob" he said to me. His looks were absolutely remarkable.. as though he were the exact opposite of me. His bleach blond hair was cut short, but styled, so it would seem. He would maybe come up to my chin if I was standing next to him, and he was wearing a black button down shirt, complete with jeans and shoes. The whole deal. It reminded me of Edward, except that when I looked into this mans eyes they were shockingly green, with a small amount of crimson left on the edges. I didn't want to ask, but I had to. "Who are you?" my hands were shaking now. He frowned, apparently expecting me to know who he was. I did, but I needed him to say it before I could rip his head off. "Well that's dissapointing," he sighed "Renesme didn't mention me?" And then I could see the image pop into my head from no-where, as though it had been placed there to taunt me right at this moment. My Ness, huddled in his arms, looking into his eyes. I could hear the trace of her butterscotch laugh as she moved forward to kiss his lips.

My body was red hot, and shaking. I could barely see him right in front of me. He laughed as though he could see what I saw. "It will be fun killing you Jacob Black" he smiled, "Ness will have no reason to stay here anymore, and so sorry for you and driven with grief, she'll come back to me again." My body reacted before my mind had a chance to, my stolen pants shredded to pieces. I lunged at his chest, missing by only inches as he dashed to the side. He was fast. I snarled angrily as I felt his hands ripping at my neck. I could feel the pain of the deep lacerations but they were starting to heal by the time I'd turned. I snapped at him with my teeth snarling. After two quick and decisive snaps, I finally grabbed hold. I bit down hard, my teeth almost clinched together. God he tasted bad. I heard the ribs crack as I felt them crumble beneath my sharp canine teeth. I shook him furiously, hoping to tear off the wole chunk of his torso and watch him bleed to death.

The image hit me hard, I had no idea where it came from and I certainly hadn't been thinking it a second before. My Ness, scolding me, angry and upset because I'd killed her little half breed Lover. I whined at the anger of her imagined words, and my jaws lost their purchase on his skin. He laughed knowingly and took advantage of my faltering move, ripping the flesh of my shoulder clean off and reaching for my throat again, this time finding grip rather than tearing. I snarled in response as he pushed and my head hit the ground. I looked up angrily, letting out a crazed howl. How could he be this strong? Nessie and I had play-fought, but she'd never won. Had I been underestimating her or was he truly stronger? It was useless protecting her if I could be so easily overcome. He put a pale graceful hand across my face and quickly shed the entire left side. My eye stung, and the blood dripping into it stung even more. I wimpered like a puppy that had just been stepped on. Shit.

The crash of the splintering door was what startled him, he lost his grip for a moment and dashed through the room, to an open window. He was gone. Three large wolves chased after him, Sam stayed behind. 'Jake', he thought, 'Are you badly injured?' I didn't answer. He nuzzled my neck, checking for consiousness. I wimpered again, but stood up, swaying on my feet. 'Go home' he thought, though he knew it wasn't where I would go, 'You need to heal.' I ran out the broken in door, barely noticing half of it hanging on the top hinge pressed against the wall. It took me minutes to reach the cottage. God it hurt to move so fast. I shifted back to my human self, and I could see the blood covering all of my wounds, they would take days to heal, maybe even a week. I could only see out of one eye. Damn, I didn't have any clothes. Oh well, it's not like Nessie'd never seen me phase back before. Though for Edwards sake I tried not to do it too often. I shut the door behind me as quietly as I could, and slumped into the bed next to my own sleeping beauty.


	6. Wolf Time

Chapter six.

I was almost awake now, why did I still smell that delicious scent? It was getting stronger to as I became more concious. I began to feel more awake and I could feel the heat next to me. I must still be asleep then, maybe I'm having a good dream?  
I rolled over soundlessly and cuddled up next to my massive heater, I breathed in the air as his light snore sent his hot breath in my face. I entwined my feet with his legs and I couldn't supress my giggle, not only because my dad had layed me in bed without taking my heels off, but I could feel that the end of Jake's long legs were dangling off the edge of the bed. I leaned my head in his chest and, leaving one arm under my head beneath my pillow, wrapped the other one around him. He was sticky.

I opened my eyes to find the cause of his uhm.... stickyness? He had blood all over him, it smelled so good, and he was... naked? Wow, this was a REALLY good dream. I pushed my face further against him and sniffed. The burn in my throat felt welcomed, like I wanted to quench the thirst this time. I licked a little of the dried blood off his chest, and moved to his shoulder. There was skin missing... Even in a dream that couldn't be good. "Jake?" I wispered, only half hoping to hear him answer back.

Another snore. This was an uneventful dream, but still good nonetheless. The thirst was stronger now, I was starting to think this might be real. Him still being naked and Daddy not barging in with a shotgun in hand was contradicintg my awake feeling. I pushed his shoulder lightly, "Jake, what the Hell happened?" The snoring stopped but he didn't move. "That really hurts you know." The words sounded true but the cocky smile on his face suggested that he was just kidding. He pushed an arm under me and pulled me closer, I noticed he wasn't moving the one that was covered in blood. I frowned and lifted my face out of his yummy smelling chest, no joke either, the blood smelled amazing even if it was dried and old. I lifted my face up to his. "Shit Jake, what happened to your face?" I put my hand on the unscathed half of his face, tears forming in my eyes. I didn't like this dream anymore. I projected at him 'Are you going to be okay?' My mind flashed a vision of Emily, her permanently scarred face. This wasn't so different, except that the marks on Jake's face were already heavily scabbed, and due to his wolf healing, the scabs looked days old. "I'm fine babe, really, it's nothing. 'You call that nothing?' I thought at him, 'Can you even see' "I don't need to see to know how beautiful you are." If I hadn't been so frightened, I would have blushed. 'Cut the crap Jake, what happened? Did you find... the vampire?' I didn't want to say his name. His tone was angry this time, "Yeah, we found him." Oh God. I didn't know what the right thing to say was, so I removed my hand from his face. I stuttered over a couple responses in my head, but none of them sounded right. I was furious that Roman had banished me and followed me, and even more furious of what he had done to Jake, but I didn't want him to be dead. He'd helped me so much when I found him, he left his prized position on the Volturi guard to be with me... Jake tensed beside me, sensing my confusion and groaned, un-tensing his muscles. I curled myself around him, as gently as I could, as though I was trying to hold him together and pressed my face against his chest again. I wanted to wake up now. "Is he alive?" I said softly, realizing too late that whe words were wrong. I low tremor passed through his body, and he groaned again. Not only in physical pain this time, but emotional to. "No, he ran when Sam and his gang showed up." Good. I thought to myself. I would have the chance to beat the crap out of him. I don't think I could ever really kill Roman, but I knew I could hurt him bad enough that he would leave. Through physical pain and shots to his heart, I could force him to go. It was the best way, all around. I wouldn't have the blood of a friend on my hands (figuratively of course,) and I had a better chance of staying here with Jacob and my family. In peace. Or at least peace outside of the troubles I already had before Roman showed up. I took in a few deep breaths. The smell was less inviting now, not because I didn't want to taste him, but because it would feel like an insult to injury; like kicking somone while they're down. "I Love you Jake," I wispered into his chest "no-one will ever be able to change that. Please believe me." My plea was muffled by the sound of his sweet snore. As bad off as he was, the sound still soothed me, calmed me, until my eyes flickered one last droopy time.

I woke up to the sound of not only me, but two other people breathing in my room. That couldn't be good. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, looking around. Jake was now covered by a blanket, but the scabs and blood still remained. Upon closer inspection, the scabs looked a little smaller but his shoulder was obviously broken and incredibly swollen. I heard a false cough and looked across the room. "Daddy!" I hissed. He looked as if he'd been sitting there all night, with one leg on the floor and the ankle of his other resting neatly on top. He was very still and his arms were folded across his chest. Shit. "Good morning Renesme." He didn't sound happy. "Uhm.. goodmorning?" I faltered, "this isn't what it looks like." He stared harder at me. "Were Jacob not covered in blood with several obvious injuries, I would possibly have killed him several hours ago. As it is, I think I'll wait until he wakes up." It didn't sound like he was joking. He looked into my eyes, furious. "I'm sorry Ness, I was apparently wrong to think that him being more than human would somehow allow you two to be together peacefully." What? "You think I did this?" I groaned but continued, my voice softening. "No Daddy, it wasn't me. I woke up and he was just here, seriously." His eyebrows pushed together in disbelief, the smooth surface between them wrinkling into a crease, as if he wasn't made of marble. "Look, it's a long story okay? But I gotta get away from this bed", "Yes, you do", "and clean this blood off of me" I finished, ignoring his comment. He nodded. "Use the shower in the main house please." he said staring down at Jacob. "Dad, I don't think he's waking up soon.. He's pretty bad off. He should have healed by now." He never took his eyes off of Jacob. "All the same, I'd prefer you use the main shower. While you're there you can tell the others that I have not killed him." "Aw, why'd you tell them for?" I asked as I climbed out of bed. Jasper would be all over me with his questioning eyes, Alice with her comforting words and well.. One of them was probably still holding Em back.

I grabbed clothes out of the dresser without looking and stomped out of the room and out of he house. I stomped all the way to the front porch of the main door and stomped in, slamming the door behind me.

In the front room was Emmett, sitting on the couch in front of the TV even though it wasn't on. His stone fists were shaking in his hand and he was staring intently at the, still off, television. He looked pissed. I stomped over and sat next to him, crossing my arms hardly against my chest. "Is he dead yet?" he asked, still not looking at me. "No." I hissed unwillingly and heard Jasper jump to his feet in the next room. "Daddy says he's too injured to kill and that he's waiting for him to recover." "Good" he said bluntly, I'm glad you messed him up so well Ness, but I don't think Edward should" I interupted angrily, "I DIDN'T FREAKING TOUCH HIM?! WHY IS EVERYONE SO DAMN POSITIVE I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF!" He turned his face, looking at me quizzically, and then with relief. He was reading too much into the me-not-touching-him part. "But what about your eyes Ness?" I growled ferociously, hoping Daddy would hear me and got up.

Stomping my way past Japser who had entered the room when he felt my oncoming explosion, I stomped straight up the steps. They crunched a little under the tips of my heels, slicing holes in the ancient wood. Right into Alice's chest. She put her arms around me and led me into her bedroom down the hall. Hugging me to the point of almost carrying, she sat me down on the bed. I put my hands over my face as she cradled my body, and burst into tears. Jasper was at the door, not daring to pass the doorway and enter into such a private moment. "I messed things up so bad Alice!" My words were contorted under my rough breath that I was desperately trying to catch. "What happened?" Her question was so simple it boggled me. There was no other way to do my screwing up any better jutice than to show her. I breathed deep grabbing her hand in mine and I played the images in her head. My devastating encounter with Jake in the cave. The words played back in my head. 'How could you Ness?' I had to move on. On the trail by the house, Jake asking me about the unknown scent. Me lying to him, pretending it wasn't one I had smelled before.  
The moment I had woken up, thinking in were fact a dream. I played the image of Jakes contorted face and swollen shoulder, making her eyes widen. I showed her my blurred vision as I woke up again, when I saw Daddy sitting in his chair with his furious eyes on the naked Jacob in my bed. Jasper felt her shock, and I could see it was straining him not to flutter to her side, to change the emotional atmosphere and make us both happy and carefree. Alice let go of my hand. "Well" she said witha hard breath, "What are you going to do?" "I don't know" I wispered, wiping the wetness from my face with the back of my hand. "I'm supposed to take a shower. That's it. That's what I'm going to do." "You know what I mean, Ness." She stared directly into my eyes, concern and urging pleading out of the liquid gold irises. I thought to myself. I really didn't know. Not yet. I needed Jake to be okay before I could concentrate on anything else. "Can't I just get through today?" I thought of the scabbing on Jakes face. With any luck he might be able to see again in a few days. That was my time limit, until Jake was healed. I was on wolf time now.


	7. Look, I know this looks bad but

Chapter seven.

I grumbled and rolled over, pulling my good arm out from underneath me and searching the bed next to me. She wasn't there. I pulled the blanket up to my face to see how long she'd been gone, but the smell burnt my nose and I cringed away from the blanket. I sat up abruptly, putting too much strain on the shoulder that was torn apart. Shit. I jumped out of the bed, taking the blanket with me and holding it over exposed bottom half. Apparently I'd slept too long. "This is NOT what it looks like! Honest!" His furious eyes never faltered, never even blinked as he stared me down. "Then what is it really mutt? Or were you not sleeping in my daughters bed unclothed?" I didn't have an answer for that. "Okay.. well it's exactly what it looks like, but nothing happened, I swear!" My find flashed back to Ness awakening, feeling over with me with her hands, licking the blood off my chest... The tiniest smile escaped my lips. Edwards growl broke my through my thoughts. Goddamn mind-reading vamp. He was inches from my face in half a second, flat. The scent of him so close sent my nose aflame, erasing any trace of the smile I'd had before. I threw one arm up in surrender, as I usually did whenever I did things that offended the bloodsuckers, careful to hold the blanket still over myself. Nessie'd never forgive me if I hurt one of them, but of course they never got in any trouble for messing me up. "I do not care what did, or did not happen here Jacob. It won't happen again." Great, now I pissed off Daddy. His eyes lightened a little when I thought of the way she often said it, like he was a hero or something to her. "Let me make myself very clear to you Jacob Black, the next time I catch you on any legal Cullen property, I will consider the treaty in full effect and you will be banished to your side of the line." "What?" I stuttered, "you can't be serious Edward! I won't stay away from her, you can't make me!"

I felt his reaction immediately, a cold fist in my stomach and as I folded over, a granite knee in my nose. The blood ran fluidly down the front of me.  
He stood straight in front of me, composed again. "You can take that blanket with you, it smells like dead dog." I stood up, angry and in all the more pain, but still too afraid of Nessie's wrath to hit him back. "Christ, man!" I said feeling my once again, broken nose.  
"What if she wants to see me huh?" I asked, attempting to reason with him. "You gonna keep her locked up in the house?" A laugh almost escaped my lips watching his pull together in thought. I could tell he was contemplating it. Ness had always been a good kid, usually listened to what she was told to do.. but I'd spent years trying to push some rebellion into her, for a moment just such as this. I knew that if she really wanted to see me, she'd find a way. He knew it to. "You think your wolf imprint gives you claim to her Jacob," he said "but it doesn't. Knowing that she is the only person you will ever Love doesn't mean you are the only person she can Love." I remembered the image in my head that had shaken me so badly when I'd fought Roman, I could see the tears in Ness's eyes as she'd screamed at me, angry because I'd killed him. The words stung, just as he knew they would when he said them. They stung because I knew they were true. "Sure, sure" I mumbled, as I quickly and unsteadily took the two steps to the door, opened it and walked out. I phased inches away from the house, leaving the blanket behind me.

I was greeted with Seth's update on the run back home. 'We almost caught him Jake. We were this close and then we lost him! Sam thought we could catch up to him but then I got his picture in my head.. like you should be the one to kill him, so I told Sam and convinced him to turn around.' I didn't comment back at first, I was focusing on how difficult it was on to run, how much it hurt... I must look like a freak limping around like this. 'Naw, Jake. Everyone gets beat. Look at last time when me and Leah went at it! She tore me up.' 'Where is Leah'  
I thought, I hadn't heard from her in days. As my right flank she was gonna get Hell for not checking in for three days. 'Look, I'm gonna run the a new perimeter tonight. I'm not aloud on Cullen property so I want you to run that loop okay?', 'Oh man, Jake what'd you do now'  
I let my confrontation with Edward play in my head for him to see, wincing at the sound of my nose splintering.'Alright, I'll run your loop,' he was trying very hard not to ask what really had happened with me and Ness, instead he thought about me, 'but you need to go home. I KNOW that shoulder is killing you and if you keep runnin on it it's gonna set wrong.' The pain in my arm echo'd his words. I hated it when he was right. 'Yeah, okay.. but just for tonight. And if you catch any trails you come get me. Got it?' 'Yeah, I got it.' I reached the trail through the grounds that led to my house and phased back.

That was why I'd bought this place, no-one ever came this far to the edge of the reservation... I could shift and run, unshift and be naked... I could run around with a toga on, and no-one would know... whatever I wanted. It'd cost a little more than what I had but it hadn't taken too long to pay off. Not after... after selling Dad's old place. Neither of my sisters wanted it after Dad passed, but I didn't really either. The house wasn't worth a whole lot but the grounds were. Ness had found the lawyer and buyers and all that.. I don't know anything about that kinda stuff. Even help me pick out this place right before she.. before she left. It was nice, kinda smallish but still a lot more room than I needed. I walked through the backyard, up the cobbled stone path and straight through the unlocked back door. I passed through the small kitchen, filled with appliances I'd almost never used, and through the living room and up the stairs to the bedroom. Whenever I was in the house this is usually where I was. Ness knew that everything in the rest of the house was pretty much for her, so for Christmas she'd filled the bedroom up with things she'd known I'd never be able to afford. I walked in and layed down on what was quite possibly the biggest bed I'd ever seen in my life, no joke. I could lay on it up and down, diagonal or sideways and not an inch of my six foot eight frame would dangle off the edges. I got up slowly, feeling my body ache and walked to the closet. I opened the door and pulled out one of the hundreds of pairs of cut-off jeans she'd filled it with and pulled them on. I turned and looked in the mirror on the back of the door. Most of the scabbing on my face had fallen off when I phased, leaving bringht pink scars underneath, but my more recently injured nose was covered in blood and felt familiarly stiff. I could handle that, it would only take a few days for the bones to mend together again. I let my eyes wander to my shoulder, and I cringed. To be fair it looked a little worse than it felt, but it looked horrific. The skin had only begun to grow back, and the bone was very obviously out of place, jutting out at an odd angle. I lifted my good arm and placed a hand on the awkward bone feeling the soft underflesh that might not be scabbed until tomorrow night. I took a deep breath and braced myself, and with a sickening crack, I pushed it back into it's rightful position. My knee's buckled from the pain underneath me, and I landed on both of them, still wobbly. I looked back to the mirror. I looked pathetic, on bended knee and covered in blood and dirt, my shoulder was now much more swollen.. I wrenched myself up and walked across the room to the master bathroom. I started the water and adjusted it, one-oh-two exactly. I pulled off the jeans with one hand and climbed in the shower. Standing there under the water for a good long time before finally turning it off and stepping out. I shook my head until my hair was almost dry, and pulled a towel off the rack for the rest of me. I tugged my pants back on and walked unsteadily back into the bedroom and climbed into the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a minute before I rolled over onto my bad arm, the pressure felt nice against the break. Like a cast would be to a normal human. Looking across the room I saw the familiar vanity, with the black iron intricately worked chair sitting in front of it. There were still brushes and combs on the surface, and one of the drawers were left open. Just the way she'd left it. I let my eyes roam to the top of the mirror where there hung a golden chain with, at the very bottom of the chain, a crystal heart with the image of a wolf etched in it. It has been for Nessie's sixth (sixteenth) birthday, and she'd never seen it.

She'd crept out of her own house, knowing I had no patrol, come over here and force me to play games on the unnecessary X-box she'd gotten me. I'd all but passed out after the first two hours and when I woke up and followed her scent up the steps here. The bathroom was all fogged up from her shower so I set the necklace there, hoping to surprize her and layed down on the bed. When she came out she was dressed for bed with out of season Halloween shorts on and a matching strappy tee. I remembered the smell of her sweet curls, still wet hanging to the middle of her back. I could remember the look on her face when she breathed in the air and looked at me on the bed. Shock, then confusion.. then fear, then she'd ran. The memory played over in my head several times, before my eyes were too heavy and I just couldn't stay awake any longer.


	8. I'm not great at this grounded thing

Chapter eight.

I could smell the blood as it poured fresh, and I left Alice's cold embrace. Would Daddy really go that far? I expressed rushed apologies as I swept across the room and jumped out of the open window, landing perfectly two stories down. I ran towards my home, passing the trees in a hurried daze. I wasn't only running for Jacob but for that sweet succulent scent that I could taste in my throat, burning. Of course it was probably too late, I knew my father had a bad temper underneath all that composure. I opened the front door, and rushed needlessly through the house, into my room. I could see the blood on the floor, diluting my thoughts and senses. But Jake wasn't there. I looked to my Dad as he dissapeared for the smallest fraction of a second and returned with bleach in his hands. A normal human wouldn't have noticed he'd gone. He poured the bleach onto the small spot on the white carpet, adding a burn to my nose to my list of ailments. "This room is never going to smell better," he wispered to no-one in particular. I reclaimed a little of my senses as the blood mingled with the bleach, "What did you do?" I breathed, the anger returning. The words were not completely part of my train of thought, and my eyes were intently focused on the bleached-blood stain. How could something so simple as a cleaning product taint such a good smell? I thought of the scent, undiluted. The burn in my throat ached as I remembered the taste in the cave, the way my teeth had torn so easily into his willing flesh... I was suddenly very aware of my fathers presence as his face contorted slightly into a grimace."I had rather hoped that your vampire genetics would turn out more prominent, and you too would realize how bad he smelled" I recoiled at his words. Despite mine or Jacobs feelings for one another, I had always searched for a way to become a full vampire. It's not like anyone here would ever bite me, and I myself was not venomous, and Aro with his peaked interest in my 'most unique heritage and exciting future' wouldn't even let me persuade any of the guard. I've never been sure if it would work or not, but I had a feeling I never would either.  
He listened to my inner pouting and chuckled, stepping close and putting his arms around me. I put my head against his cool cheek, although he was cold this had never been an unpleasant feeling for me. It was part of who I was, and I greeted the cold as affectionately as the hot. "No-one is going to change you Renesme. No-one would put you through that, and we're not even certain what the venom would do to you." I'd heard these words an amazing number of times, so I pushed them out of my head, not willing to enter a lost argument, "Where's Jake Dad?" The words were soft, but he knew they would demand an answer. He paused, thinking of away to sate my anger, but my mind was clear again, the smell of the blood almost completely dissolved into the bleach. "What did you do to him?" He wretched out a low snarl and let his arms fall off of me, "He went home Ness. He's going to stay there and you are not to cross the line." His words were pleading, but I could tell he had tried to add fatherly authorty to them. I felt my lips curl up, though I knew that no matter how angry I would ever be.. I would never cause him harm. "What makes you think you have the right to do this? Carlisle is the only one with the right to start enforcing the treaty now!" the words were more of a snarl than the attempt at reason I had been going for. He regained his composure, trying to ignore my obvious contempt, "This is not a vampire or were-wolf thing Ness. This is purely of his own actions, and he must now face the consequences. He is already very lucky that I did not kill him." I remembered the image of him I'd expected to interupt Jacob and I when I thought I'd been dreaming, he looked the same now but without the shot-gun. His face twisted into laughter and nostalgia. "Darling, you have no idea how like your mother you are." He paused, looking back in his head on Moms human days I suppose, before turning back to me, "What would I have done with the shot-gun?" I looked over his face, all signs of anger were gone. He looked positively joyous to be quite frank. I sat on the bed, causing no bounce or backlash from the soft mattress,  
"I don't know. Shot him I suppose." His laughter brought a grudging smile to my lips, as though it were infectious. "Why could I not have just mauled him? I don't think I would really have needed the gun." His face was still alive with laughter, and I couldn't object. I'd thought of his beautiful face, light and happy everyday when I was gone. I'd missed it so. My longing for my family was the only reason I was aloud to leave the Volturi so quickly. I wasn't exactly a member, but I had been their guest for over a year and Aro could see how much I'd wanted to go home. Romans time with the Volturi had been different. He was there much longer than I, but only to find the other half-vampires. He despised both vampires and mortals, thinking himself superior. His affection for me made him want to leave, but to be honest they were all quite sick of him. I have no doubt they would have killed him soon had he not left.

I spent the next few days being kept busy. Being grounded wasn't the right term, but instead I'd been kidnapped. I had not a second alone without someone nearbye, attempting to keep me occupied. Today, I was with Alice as my parents were off hunting. I hadn't hunted yet, I don't even know if I was aloud. Much too easy of an escape. They knew I could live off of human food, but really I had been perfectly happy ignoring the food Daddy had made me. He'd looked very angry as I sat there, pretending to ignore his culinary masterpiece. Now we were Seattle. Wonderful. We were at some fancy boutique, with clothes almost as expensive as my car, which I'd insisted on driving today since yesterday Rose was my keeper. I'd cleaned and repainted the car, while she did various loud, alarming things under the hood. I had to admit, it did look amazing, and sounded better than ever. I walked nonchalantly through the store, reaching my hand out to brush across several items of clothing. "So what do you want Ness?" I looked around the store, my eyes wavering, "You know I don't want any of this stuff Alice. I like wearing my clothes more than once and you've already bought too much." I She sighed deeply and shifted the clothes in her hands,"You know your just as much fun to babysit as your mother. Except I could SEE when she was planning her escape!" I laughed, my father had told her to be extra cautious. Apparently being like Mom was good for me, but bad for them. I couldn't imagine what could have caused her kidnapping. I wonder if it had been this horrible?  
I thought I remembered the mentioning of a pedicure. I wouldn't mind a pedicure so much... "Look can we just go?" I spat. "The only thing I would want to buy here are shoes I'm not aloud to wear because Daddy hid all mine again. I'd like to go home and sleep and wait for tomorrow's torment okay?" She frowned her tiny pixie frown, but conceded. I walked with her as she took the clothes up to the check-out counter and paid, and we left the store to walk the half a mile to my car. We didn't mind the walking, it's not like we'd get tired, and it was nice and cloudy today so Alice was free to enjoy the city today. "Tomorrow won't be so bad y'know, I saw Emmett dissapear so he'll be the one watching you". I barked out a laugh. Normally, time with Em would be amazing, but I was still upset at him from our little fight on the couch after Jake had slept over. I'd obviously won the fight, I don't know why I was being so stubborn and couldn't apologize. I didn't like the fact that he was so sure I'd hurt Jake, so happy.... And I didn't like that it was only coincidence that it was Roman who had hurt him, not me. My idiocy in the cave should have killed him. Don't get me wrong, I was very glad it hadn't.. but I didn't want to press my luck.. or his.

We got back to the car, and I revved the engine with impatience. "If you hadn't bought all that crap you wouldn't have to find a place to put it." I accused. The trunk was still packed with presents I'd never opened since I'd left so quickly. It was outrageous how many presents I'd gotten really. The Denali's sent several packages, as well as Aro himself, Kachiri, Benjamin and Tia.. Even Maggie. It amazed me every year how many presents came. I could hear Alice grumble about impoliteness as she packed her bags in the crowded space and backseat and finally opened the door and sat next to me. I took off, the wind from the window ripping my long hair back behind me. Alice smiled to herself, "Y'know, I'm very glad your father taught you to drive instead of your mother. It would take us quite a long time to get anywhere other-wise". I set back and laughed, one hand on the wheel and looked at the speedometer. "Only ninety-five, huh. I must be feeling slow today." We were on the highway now so I stepped down on the gas, weaving through cars quickly. I looked over to see Alice with her hands on her temples, rubbing them slowly. "You okay?" I asked. "Yeah," she replied "it's just really alarming to see entire places dissapear. Apparently when we get back you're going home." "Yeah," I replied "I am kind of tired. Plus I don't think we're going this whole grouded thing right." She laughed. "You know you're not grounded Ness, you're just supposed to stay away from Jake." I sighed in frustration, pushing the pedal forward. I was pretty sure the car wouldn't get any faster than this, and I Loved it. The short ride home was silent, and I dropped Alice off at the main house. "Go straight home" she warned me, grabbing her bags and practically dancing into the house, waiting to show a very bored Jasper her loot for he day. I nodded back to her and drove slowly to my drive next to the house and parked. Leaving the keys in the ignition, as usual I stepped out of the car and went inside.

They weren't home yet, but I knew they would be soon. I sauntered through the house to the kitchen, opening the fridge wide without really wanting anything. Apparently humans ate food regularly, I reminded myself, but I still couldn't force myself to take any of the food that was put in there specifically for me. Maybe I'd go to the diner? I thought. I could probably pretend like I hadn't to let Dad worry, but I really I was just thirty. A medium rare cheeseburger wasn't going to help that. I walked into my room and placed myself on the bed, just sitting there and staring at my feet. I looked over to the yellow spot where the bleach had burnt into the carpet. Before I knew what I was doing I was out the door, and back in my car. I was close enough to the house that Alice wouldn't see it reappear yet.. I thought about my plan. If I moved fast enough, I could just get past the line in time to shake off any Cullens that had followed. I started the ignition and took off.

I reached the driveway to the road quickly, hitting the road only seconds before Alice and Emmett were on the porch yelling after me. I hit the gas as hard as I could, and I was at ninety in moments. I could hear them behind me, running swiftly but quietly, Emmett was on the phone telling my father of my escape. Poor Alice. I was always getting her in trouble. It took only five minutes, at maximum speed to reach the line. I heard them stop directly behind the line, unsure if they were aloud to proceed due to my fathers new edict on the upholding of the treaty. I heard Emmett swearing, and Alice taking the phone from him and apologizing. I knew they'd be patrolling the line until I came back. Dad was gonna be pissed, but I cringed away from the thought as I slowed up, turning into the long drive of Jakes house.

I cut the engine in Jakes garage, the rabbit was there as usual. It made me sad that he rarely used it, he Loved it so much. I ran my hand over a layer of dust on the hood blowing it away instantly. Piled up dust was my enemy, no joke. I'd never resided in one place that wasn't spotless. I took the keys out of the ignition for the first time in years and searched through them, finally wrapping my fingers around the exact silver key I wanted. I went up the front porch and put my hand on the knob. Feeling that it was unlocked, I shrugged as I put the keys in my shorts pocket. I opened the door and walked slowly through the house. The burn in my throat itched, but I proceeded cautiously, I didn't want to be caught off guard when I saw him standing there and the scent hit me dead on. I walked through the familiar living room, letting my hand brush aross the soft, still new looking couch. I passed the room and headed straight up the stairs to the master bedroom, holding my breath. I walked through the open door and even though I wasn't breathing, my throat lit, and I could feel my resolve crumbling at the sight of the giant man sleeping in the even more humongous bed in the middle of the room. I walked closer and took stock of the damage. His face was clear of any scab or scars, but his nose was still the slightest bit swollen. I looked down at his arm next, hoping for the same relief. It didn't come. I looked it over, almost touching it but not wanting to interupt his gentle snores and even breathing. It was still scabbed a little bit, but all the skin that had had to regrow was still bringht pink. It was still swollen to, but this was better than human healing, I admitted to myself. I was sure he would have needed surgery if he had been human, but then again, if he was human, by not only my own fault, he'd probably be dead after all the tings he's been through. I bit my lip, attempting to force back the guilt as well. It seemed like most of Jakes problems stemmed from me, but I couldn't think of any way to help it. Leaving had been my solution, and this is what happened because of it. He looked so peaceful sleeping there. I had hoped that in my absence he'd been able to get some rest, and I was glad that it looked like he had. I wanted so badly to touch him, just to take his whole body in my arms and stop his pain.. but I knew it would only cause more if I couldn't control myself. No matter how tough he claimed to be, I didn't want to take my chances. I decided to let him continue resting and headed toward the bathroom. I lifted the towel off the rack and nuzzled my face in it, taking in the juniper and Jake scent. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever smelled. I undressed slowly, taking care not to mess up any of my clothes. God forbid I should have a hole in my pants and still wear them. I could almost hear Alice's chastizing in my head. I stepped into the shower and turned on the water, adjusting it to a nice one-ten temperature. I hummed to myself softly as I showered, watching the many mirrors fog up.


	9. This is bad

Chapter Nine

When I had deemed myself clean enough, I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping the towel around me and walking over to the drawers under my own personal sink. I'd never been much for sharing, so I'd renovated a few perks into the house before Jake had moved in. The product of my selfishness in this particular room had been his and her sinks, and almost a whole wall of mirror. I walked over to the 'her' sink and grimaced at my foggy, warped up face in the steamed mirror in front of me. I lifted my hands, touching my fingertip to the glass and moving it slowly. Voila! I made the most mischievious face I could muster, to match my drawn-on wiggly mustache, afro and glasses. I laughed bleakly at my own stupidity.

Leaving the face in the mirror, I reached to my own familiar drawers to find the clothes I'd packed in so long ago. My hands were not found wanting, as I pulled out a small silky night shirt and unmatching jean camoflauge shorts. I'd never had cared much for matching, but Alice's obvious dissapointment had usually pushed me to extremes when it came to clothing.  
I pulled them on quickly and flipped my head over, rubbing the towel through all the faceted wet curls. There was no way Jake would sleep through the hairdryer, so I rubbed meticulously trying to avoid tangles. Finally, I'd done all the drying I could do, and flipped my body back over, sending my damp hair flying behind me.

When I walked into the room, Jake was still furrowed in the bed, under covers now. He was still asleep but his snores had dissipated, leaving his tanned face motionless, seemingly unhappy in whatever dream he was having. I cringed at the sound of his new skin catching on the sheets as he rolled over. I passed by the bed again, this time heading over to my one addition to this room, my vanity. I sat down in my intricately woven black iron chair. The back of the chair itself looked soft, as though the tiny tribal pattern of the metal had been run through a loom by hand. I reached my hand up to the frame of the mirror, rubbing my hot skin against the cool metal that was set in a similar weave as the chair. My hand traced the oval, almost back to it's original position when my hand brushed against the soft silk of a gold chain. Weird, I didn't remember seeing this before.. I lifted it up with both hands and pulled it closer to my searching eyes. The crystal heart at the end of the chain was obviously genuine, but as I looked closer I saw on the front, etched lightly, the shape of a wolf. Not just any wolf either, but my wolf. My Jacob. I layed it down on my palm and turned it over gently, gasping at the inscription on the back, 'Happy Birthday, My Everything.' I bit back the guilt again. This must have been the surprise he'd wanted to show me so long ago.

I jumped at the heat of his hands on my shoulder. I'd been so absorbed in the beauty of my gift that I hadn't noticed him getting out of bed. "May I?" he asked. I didn't respond to his words but I looked up at him, holding the necklace out. His lips were turned upward, into a bright smile as he took the chain from my hands. I silently arranged my hands around my hair, holding it back as he placed the chain around my neck. I dropped my hands, one of them on the crystal with my eyes in the mirror, his eyes on mine intently. "It's stunning Jake, really. Thank you." My face lit into a wide grin, contemplating Alice's reaction since I rarely wore any jewelry she'd ever bought me. He put his arms around me, resting his face in my neck and kissing it softly

. "I hoped you'd escape soon, it's been Hell here without you." He wispered the words into my ear and I listened to the soothing sound of his voice as I fought the temptation, the burn in my throat begging me to sate it's pain. "Well, I haven't been having the most amazing time either, all things considered." My smile curved down, into the slightest frown. I pulled his arms from off around me, wincing as my fingers accidentally brushed the skin of his torn shoulder, and stood up. "So how are you feeling Jake?" I asked, "your arm looks a lot better now". He took a step back and sat on the bed, his eyes locked on his gift around my neck. "I'm fine Ness, barely a scratch on me. You know that." I ignored his widened bravado smile, as he ran his fingers through his hair. Of course he'd never let me know how much pain he was really in. I shuddered at the thought of it. I'd never been in any kind of fight. Once, when I was very little Jake had taken me over to play with Claire since we'd been roughly the same age mentally and she'd thrown a fit over sharing and smacked me in the head. He's scooped me up before I even had a chance at retaliation and somehow I'd wound up pouting and falling asleep in Jake's arms. "Look Jake," I started slowly, unsure of his coming reaction, "I need you to call off the wolves, I don't want any of you trying to fight Roman again." He flinched away from my words and his eyes were unfocused, as though playing through an image in his head. "I can't do that" he said angrily, standing up and clenching his fists, he had clearly misunderstood my reasoning.

I moved myself into the heat of his chest and wrapped both arms around his waist. My head barely cleared his shoulders. Damn. "You have to! I can't even think about you getting hurt like this again." Understanding reached his eyes, but he seemed aggravated and distracted. He wrapped one arm around my back and lifted his injured one to toy with an errant strand of my hair and he sighed. "I'm fine Ness, but we have to take care of him. He's already killed several hikers in the area, it's our job." "No, it isn't Jake!" I groaned back, releasing him from my arms and pushing his chest futiley, his grip on me tightened but other than that he showed no notice of me pushing him away. "I'm going to take care of him Jake, I don't want to risk you getting hurt again. Or Leah or Sam or anyone else. I'm the reason he's here and I can get rid of him okay?" I looked up to his face, searching for some kind of promise. He mostly just looked amused. "And how are you gonna do that?" he wispered. He was quite obviously unconvinced as I was, that I could do any real damage. I didn't answer, so he leaned his head down kissing me on the top of the head, on my cheek, down to my neck and back up to my ear where he paused. "I'm going to kill him Ness, there's not a whole lot you can do." I barely heard the words as I focused on the feel of his hot breath, burning across my face and neck. It seemed to leak into my brain, my heart,.. my very core, and I could feel my voice beginning to melt under the ache in my throat. I pushed him away again, harder this time.

He clenched his jaw and released his arms, taking a step back and sitting once again on the bed. His mouth barely opened as he spoke, "Is that all you came for? To tell me to leave your boyfriend alone?" "You know that's not how it is Jake. I just can't let you be hurt again and if this is how you're going to act then I'm going to go back to being grounded." "No!" he said loudly, as he grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, too hard. I moved my legs apart, to avoid banging them into his knee's and landed with one leg on either side of him, my torso crashing down in his lap. I could feel the forceful tremor down my spine, the blood rushing to my face, and my eyes widenening. "Don't go." he wispered, smiling wildly at my obvious reaction to our suddenly intimate closeness.

I could hear my already unhumanly fast heartbeat speed up beyond recognition. I wondered briefly if I could experience heart failure. If I could it was surely going to happen this very minute. I jumped fiercely, lost in thought as I felt his lips pressed hardly on mine. I gasped loudly pushing out the last of my breath and opened my mouth to breathe in, only to have his lips pushed harder against mine, shaping themselves to my open mouth. I sucked in his sweet breath, and let it pour through me, burning, as I kissed him back. He pulled his head back, breathing rapidly, and let it fall forward again, resting his chin on my forehead.

I sat with my eyes closed, waiting for him to regain his composure. I listened to my heart become steady again, and tried to focus on breathing in as little of his scent as I could. I was getting a lot better at resisting, but I wasn't sure I could avoid the relapse in self control if I didn't calm myself down. He lifted his chin and looked down at me. I saw his hands moving, but I still jumped as I felt the heat under my shirt, his large hands coming to a stop below my bra. His fingers countoured around either side of my ribcage, as though to hold me there. His voice was soft and slow, "I've never had a choice here Ness, no matter what you think. No-one could ever hold me here like you do." He searched my face, looking for any kind of response and frowned when he found none. I pulled my hands out of my lap, and placed one on his chest, 'That's not fair to you' I sent the words through my hand to him, hoping in some way for him to understand. "It's more than fair." he nearly shouted, unaware of how loud he was, "I could never find anyone more perfect," he paused momentarily, thinking to himself, "and niether could you." I pushed my face down, focusing on the many lines in his perfectly toned stomach and pulled my hand off of him putting it back in my lap. "I thought it would help you move on," I said, "I thought if I could make you angry enough.. you wouldn't feel bad for trying to find someone else." He barked out a soft laugh, but when I looked up his face was still in a frown. "You knew that wouldn't work Ness." "I know, but I had to try." After a moment of silence I was sure he was angry, and would want me to leave. He surprised me again by grasping my ribs more firmly, pulling me closer to him, so that our chests were touching. I felt the tremor again, and the blood rushing to more than just my face this time.. and worst of all the dry burn of my throat, aching to reach out and grab him. I was going to lose my self control soon. "I have to go Jake." I said hurriedly and tried to stand up.

My pulling was useless as his hands pulled against my body, causing me to fall back against him.  
"No you don't." He breathed in my ear, clearly much more confident than I was. He took one hand off of my rib and slid it around my side and up my back to the crease between my shoulder blades, burning hot against my skin. He pushed me firmly against himself, ignoring my half spoken attempts to dissuade him and pressing his lips gently against mine. I felt my hands fleeing around him and searching for skin. My lips had already betrayed me and I was kissing him back, with much more force than his own. I forced my palms against his back, forcing my pleading through my hands for him to stop. I projected through them access to everthing I was feeling. The heat from his skin on mine, the sweet taste of his breath, the not unpleasant pressure that had begun to build in the area's pressed more firmly to his, and of course the insatiable thirst I'd been so good at resisting recently. He perceived my message the wrong way, apparently, smiling as he continued to kiss me, more urgently now. He loosened his grip on my rib, sliding his hand under my bra and cupping my breast and teasing my nipple with his thumb. Shit. I really hoped he'd survive this..

I forced his lips away from mine, and my lips curled back in anger of the withdrawal. A low snarl escaped my chest as I moved my head to his ear, kissing it lightly. I swiftly dropped my head below his ear, and I heard a loud drawn out moan as my teeth ripped through the hot flesh of his neck.


	10. Forever

Chapter ten

This time I was projecting on purpose, letting him feel everything as I felt it. I barely felt the tug as he forcefully ripped my shirt off. I felt like I should be doing something back, contributing to the effort, but I just couldn't focus on anything except the sweet foreign blood coursing through me. I hoped fervently that he was right about his blood regenerating at record speed. I wasn't consciously aware of myself when he stood up lifting me with him, really it just felt like I was floating, like a balloon being pulled along on a string. Faster than I would have thought possible I felt the cool pain of the wall against my back, and I felt the air rush past my neck as Jake's hand leaned into the wall, tearing the paint as he clutched it for support. I broke through the skin, yet again, as it healed around my teeth. The blood was coming so sluggishly now and I errantly wondered if it was running out. I knew this should worry me a lot more than it actually was but he continued to moan and I continued to drink. As the skin healed again he pushed my head back against the wall, stopping me from re-opening the wound. I felt so intoxicated, so absolutely absorbed in the heat moving through my body. I wasn't sure if I could talk.. I wasn't even positive that if my feet were on the ground I would be able to walk.

I let out a low whimper, it was the only way I had left to express my need to return my teeth to his flesh. I lifted my head up to his to look into his fierce eyes. I tried to say something but I could hear my words falter before they even left my mouth. He leaned forward quickly and caught his lips on mine before I could lunge for his neck again. His lips caressed mine so gently, but only for a moment before they moved on to my neck, where they lingered. My stupor was slowly wearing off and I was starting to come back to my senses. I knew he could tell because I was still projecting my every sensation to him. He brought his head back up to my neck, kissing it briefly and moving on to my ear. He whispered sweetly, "See babe, not a scratch." He smiled wistfully and moved his lips back to mine, harder now. With my senses returned, I could feel his soft lips moving in tune with my own, my breath was his, and his mine. I tightened my legs around his waist and pulled my arms up to his head, entwining my hands in his hair and pulling forcefully. I felt his hand fill the space between our cores quickly, the other one holding me steady as he loosened my legs and pulled off the bottom half of my wardrobe. I placed my legs rightly around his waist again, still kissing him intently, and I felt him shrug out of his shorts gracefully. He was too good at this, I was going to seem clumsy and incompetent in comparison. I hadn't realized I'd shared the thought until I felt the corners of his mouth turn up into a quiet grin, though it didn't stop him from kissing me.

His arms moved again, but this time they were so quick…. With no thought of being gentle. I felt him let go of the wall, steadying my against it, as he moved his hand up past the front of my neck and into my hair; while his other hand moved between us, positioning himself. My eyes opened wide with fear as the realization hit but before I could do anything he tugged on the hair he'd entwined around his fingers, jerking my head to the side. He leaned his face forward and bit the now exposed side of my neck and pushed forward with his body simultaneously. The only response I was able to afford was a very vicious sounding growl, as all my lesser senses had evaporated that very second. He moved himself slowly, waiting for my ability to do anything to come back to me. His hard bite turned into a slow kiss, and I could suddenly feel my legs again. I had no trouble or wish to stop as I regained myself, and moved my body rhythmically with his. For a long time we moved slowly, with him teasing me as I pleaded with him to push harder, faster. He danced his tongue along my neck, slowly making his way down my chest. His lips traipsed lightly over my nipples, gently sucking them in and biting down in turn. His other hand constantly caressing any part of me his mouth couldn't reach. After much of his teasing and slow motion, I was practically begging him. I lifted myself off the wall, forgetting any troubling need of balance, and pushed myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I wrapped my legs tighter now, hoping that the clumsiness I should have inherited would not decide to kick in now. I used his shoulders as leverage and I knew he couldn't deny me now. I projected the rising feeling from my very core, and pushed it ferociously through the palms of both my hands, forcing him to feel it to. His reaction was immediate and very enthusiastic. His arms forced themselves to my back, and he was pushing me down into him urgently as though neither of our movements were fast enough for him. I pulled myself against him just as urgently as he was pushing me, with my hands pulling wildly at his hair. I moved one hand to his cheek, projecting the coming moment and trying my best to fill all the remaining thoughts with Love.

The warmth of his lips met mine swiftly, and he pulled them back. "Bite" he moaned. The simple word alone startled me, but I understood. Without missing a beat I bent my head down and bit quickly into the tendons directly below his ear. A loud feral snarl ripped out of my chest, and the sound from Jake was similar. The feeling was unimaginable, and I had no qualms about sharing it. I was no longer rising. I'd reached the highest Heaven possible and the only evidence of us still being on earth was the hand that flew past my head, reaching to the wall for support and I felt the other hand behind me, supporting my almost limp body. I felt my back hit the cool wall with relief. I'd never been sweaty a day in my life, I'd never even considered it a possibility until now, and I only believed it because of the obvious proof. Droplets of hot moisture covered both of our bodies. I pulled back my teeth from his skin as he set my legs on the ground. He leaned against me with his head on the wall beside mine, breathing raggedly. After a moment of rest, he nuzzled his head against my neck, whispering sweetly "I Love you Ness. Always have, always will." My body crumbled at his words, but he caught me before I could go anywhere. I didn't think I had regained the use of my mouth yet, but he brought his own to it. Gentler than ever, he pressed his lips to mine. As he moved his lips to brush across, my nose, my forehead, my hair, he put his arms underneath my legs and whisked me up to his chest. I barely felt the soft silk as he placed me on the bed and lay beside me. Singing under his breath he put his arms around me, grinning softly as my body spasmed when the wind blew in from the open window and he my burning flesh just right. "We could be happy like this forever Ness." He whispered sweetly as he brushed the hair away from my half closed eyes and kissed my fluttering eyelids. I listened to his soft caressing voice until I couldn't stay awake any longer.


	11. No promises, nor demands

Chapter eleven

I wasn't quite conscious, not just yet. I felt Jake's heat beside me, with his fingers crossing in and out through mine. I hoped he hadn't been watching my dreams again, I don't think he would have liked what he saw this time. His other hand was under his head holding it up, with his elbow resting on the soft pillows. I wiggled my feet, searching for his legs under the covers and found them. I stretched lightly and turned to face him, opening my surely crimson eyes and waiting for them to adjust to the morning light. He looked down at me now, smiling my favorite sweet smile. I couldn't imagine a single bad thought in his head when he smiled just so. I leaned my face into his chest and wrapped my arms around his long torso, holding him to me. "Good morning Ness." I didn't reply in words, only letting out a muffled "hmmph" in his chest, and listening to it reverberating with his laughing response.

"We can't stay in bed all day babe," he whispered soothingly in my ear. I pulled my arms away from him and pushed the covers around me and over my head, to make it very clear that I definitely could. He kissed me on the forehead and removed the covers from his still naked body. He crossed the room gracefully and headed into the bathroom. After a minute I heard the water start, and I grudgingly pulled myself from the soft silk of the bed. I brought the covers with me, holding them around myself like a parka and lightly grumbled my way into the bathroom to stand beside Jake, still adjusting the water. He looked at my pouting face, "you can't shower with that." "I don't want to shower. I want _you_ to come back to bed, with _me._" He leaned against me, and took the soft sheet in his hand, pulling it off of me; revealing my lack of covering with the exception of the bright gold chain around my neck. He chuckled lightly, "Much better." He put his hand in mine, tossing the sheet aside and pulling me into the shower behind him. I turned my back to him, letting the hot water roll off of my chest. I tilted my head to let the water pour over my neck, where I could feel the suspiciously teeth shaped bruise. I reveled in the stinging feel of the hot water pelting it. I'd never had a bruise before. I smiled giddily to myself until Jake put his arms around me and I turned around. "What's so funny?" he asked with a quizzical smile. "You" I replied leaning forward to kiss him. Even on tiptoes I'd never reach his mouth but he leaned down to meet me. I pulled away from him, smiling brightly and leaned my head away to show him my neck. "Shit. Ness I am _so_ sorry. I didn't mean to do that." I laughed off his obvious guilt as I turned around and continued showering, his lips brushing the swollen flesh every few minutes.

After our shower we dressed, and I listened to Jake talking about all the things that had happened while I was gone. I pulled clothing out of my drawers and put them on. A random band shirt with old tore up jeans, my favorite. He was practically bouncing his large frame as we walked down the stairs. We stopped in the kitchen for a moment so Jake could rummage around in the fridge, returning with an enormous sandwich. He was finished with it before we got to the garage. "If you want me to drive you have to tell me where we're going" I pointed out. "That's okay." His reply was followed with a jingle as he held his hand up, the keys swaying excitedly inside of it. I hopped in the passenger seat of his car, contemplating a way of coaxing him into spilling our hidden agenda. The car started silently, I'd never known it to have a problem in all its life, and we took off quickly down the road.

After a few minutes of driving, the scenery became more familiar. "Why are we going to your sister's house Jake?" He smiled deceivingly, putting his arm around the back of my head, against the seat. "That's not really part of the plan, I just promised her I'd stop over. Plus I need to talk to Paul." I pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror as we pulled up in front of the house. I cringed at the bright red irises in my own reflection. "I can't go in there Jake, they'll think I've been killing people." He looked back to me as he put the car in park and turned on the radio. "Problem solved," he said as he stepped out of the car and jogged up to the porch. We both knew he couldn't explain to his sister what had really happened, it'd be much too awkward. Of course, Seth and Leah would probably know the next time he changed, if he couldn't manage to keep his thoughts focused. I knew Leah would shrug it off, not wanting to be in his business but I could just imagine Seth giving Jake a hard time. The phrase 'boys will be boys' flashed quickly in my mind, and I suppressed a sigh. I contemplated the many vulgar thoughts Jake would have had to put up with, had he not claimed his own rightful place as Alpha and left Sam's pack so long ago. I just bet Embry would have a good time egging him on, but Quil probably wouldn't say anything. He still had years before he would imagine anything as physical with Claire, she'd only be about twelve by now. He came back out of the house with a small girl in his arms, she was maybe a year old and she had thin blonde hair curled down to her ears that pointed cutely away from her head. They were at my window in seconds, and I rolled it down. "See, isn't she cute?" he asked with a proud smile on his face. "Ness, this is my niece Brooklyn." I reached my hand out the window looking back at the house, I could see Rachel's face poking out behind the curtains, interested perhaps in my sudden reappearance. She caught me looking and quickly pulled the curtain closed. Great, I was gossip now. I turned my head back to the startlingly happy baby, and rubbed my hand over her tanned cheeks. "She's adorable Jake!" The baby's eyes lit up at the sound of my voice and she smiled a big toothless smile, grabbing my hand in her own and pulling it hastily into her mouth. I feigned pain playfully, as I pulled my fingers away from her gums. "No, no Brooklyn. Looks like you're going to have some teeth in there soon, you can't be biting everyone." I could tell Jake was monitoring my reaction to the tiny creature and I reminded myself that we'd have to have a talk about him getting ahead of himself later. After a few minutes of gushing enthusiasm and peek-a-boo he took her hand in his and forced it into a wave, and took her back in the house. He came back with a closed basket in hand, popped it into the trunk and returned to the driver's seat. "Where to next?" I asked, amused. He ignored me as he revved the engine and took off. We drove around for a good long time, talking constantly. After a while I didn't think we were really going anywhere so I scooted myself across the seat and nuzzled myself under his shoulder and listened to his chest vibrating as he talked and closed my eyes.

I woke up when the car stopped and looked around. It was the same familiar beach I'd been to a hundred times, but it was more beautiful as ever. The snowy sand glistened against the purple and orange rays of the now setting, sun. I sat up and stretched as Jacob got out of the car and retrieved the forgotten basket out of the trunk and walked toward the beach. I made my way quietly down the long walk to the bank beside him and laid down on the thick blanket he's summoned out of the mysterious basket. He placed the basket by my feet and lay next to me, putting an arm around me and surprising me with his lips on my neck, kissing first the chain of his gift and the collarbone that it was currently settled on. "So..", I said as he pulled away from me, "Do I get to know what's in the basket or is it still a secret?" "Well," he said after a moment of thought, "I always just kind of wondered.. and it seemed like a good time to test.." I cut him off impatiently, "Test what?" "Well, I just wanted to see how'd you'd react to it." he said, his face turning curious. He sat up and reached his long arm over, pulling the basket to him and opening it. I looked inside and laughed. "Alcohol?, he blushed and looked down at the sloshy sand, "You don't have to drink it if you don't want. With my metabolism I have to drink kind of.. a lot."  
"Since when did you even drink Jake?" I asked, a little disappointed.  
"Oh, about two and a half years I'd guess." His face was dark. Now it was my turn to look down at the sand, my leaving was like an open sore to him; always coming close to healing but stinging back with an infection. I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, hoping they'd go unnoticed. I left my face down for a few minutes until I could control the pressure behind my eyes. When I finally did look up he was leaning back against his elbows, with a clear bottle already open and half empty in his hand and looking up at the almost disappearing sun. I stuck my hand in the basket and rummaged around, pulling out the smallest bottle I could find. "Red wine?" I asked laughingly. "C'mon Ness, that's funny." I opened the bottle and smelled the deep red liquid, it didn't smell completely unappetizing. "You know I'm only eight right?" He laughed and took another large swig of his bottle, "It's your choice babe, you don't have to drink it" he was still watching me, gauging my reaction. I took another sniff and cringed, "Maybe when I'm twenty-one." I conceded with an embarrassed smile. He smiled softly and reached back into the basket, pulling out a two-liter of Coke. "Don't worry, I gotcha covered."

We sat there on the beach for hours, talking about things that didn't matter. "We should get a pet" I said, "like a dog or something. That'd be fun." I was nuzzled deeply into his arms, the wet ground beneath us all but forgotten as I basked in his extreme heat. I added that to my list of new things I enjoyed, Jacobs temperature went up when he was drunk to. "What would we do with a dog?" he asked lazily, and I could tell he was close to falling asleep. "I don't know. Feed it, play with it, pet it.. those kinds of things." "You can pet me." He replied without opening his eyes, a smug smile dancing inappropriately across his lips. I smacked his chest fruitlessly, "You're falling asleep. Besides, a puppy would be fun. We could take care of it together, and train it and watch it grow. It could be nice." "So what you're saying is," he asked "that you want something to take care of and Love on and buy stupid toys and crap for?" I thought about it for a moment, "Yeah, I think that would be fun." He opened his eyes and looked at me, "Like a baby?" I froze. Shit. "You're drunk." I said, when the oxygen finally returned to my brain. He looked back and forth across my eyes, looking for some sign that I was sure he wouldn't find. He sighed, "Yeah, you're right. I am. Sorry." He closed his eyes and laid back down, taking one arm from off my waist and putting it under his head as a substitute pillow. I was still partially frozen, not only from shock but also fear. I wasn't sure I ever wanted to have kids, or if I even could… Either way it made me uncomfortable that Jake was so sure of himself, no matter how he tried to play if off. I decided quickly that I was ready to go to bed. I shook the massive body beside me with both hands. "C'mon, I'm ready for bed." "We'll sleep here," he argued, "I'm comfy." I shook him again. "Alright, alright." He stood up, and stretched, he wasn't unsteady, but definitely not as his usual graceful stretch. He leaned down and kissed the top of my bed, dropping his keys in my lap. "I think I'm gonna run home, I've got to check in with Seth anyhow. You'll be okay driving home right?" Translation: I just got shot down and need to go find my ego. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Tell Seth 'hi' for me." "Sure, sure. You can leave all this stuff here though, it's Paul's anyhow. He can come get it." He grinned a devious smile, I didn't think he would ever get over his feelings towards Paul; they just didn't mesh well. I rolled my eyes, "I'll see you at your house. Try not to take too long okay?" "I'll run straight home, pinky swear." he replied with a mocking grin. He started running toward the woods on the far side of the beach, pulling his clothes off as he went and in seconds all I could see was a large furry figure running away from me.

I set to work cleaning up our mess. It really was rude to just leave all of Paul's stuff here. I packed everything, including the now neatly folded wet blanket, back into the basket and started the long walk back to Jakes car. I wonder how long I could actually stay here.. Eventually I would have to go home and face the impending doom of my father's fury. I hoped I could keep my thoughts to myself. I reached the car and put all of our things into the trunk. I turned to go back to the driver side door, and stopped dead in my tracks. Standing there leaning against the frame of the car in the shadows of the trees, was a darkened body. I scanned my eyes across it, fervently hoping that it was someone, anyone else; until my eyes reached the body's face and met the startlingly green stare of my once-upon-a-time companion.


	12. He tastes like you, but sweeter

Chapter Twelve

Faster than humanly possible, he was right there in front of me. I could feel his cool breath on my face but I couldn't communicate with my body enough to make it react. He twisted his hand in the hair behind my ear, and leaned in. Finally, I pulled back. I could see it flash before my eyes: us leaving together happily, going back on our run around the world, searching for more of our kind, falling asleep staring into the bright green eyes. I didn't fall for it. I knew he was placing the images in my head. "That's not going to work, Roman." I said, taking his hand away from any part of me and thrusting it backwards. My appalled reaction went unnoticed, as he advanced on me again, "C'mon babe, you know you missed me." His thin lips turned upward into a malicious grin, I backed further away from him. "I want you to leave Roman, and I don't want you to come back." My pathetic attempt at reason wasn't going over well, his grin shifted, and his teeth shown. "You're coming back with me Ness."  
"No, I'm not Roman!" If my reason wouldn't appeal to him, I'd try cruelty. "It was a mistake that I even found you Roman. I would have been so much better off if I never had. I could have been here, and happy." I didn't know if this was true or not, but it didn't matter. I could see his fists clenching, and I could almost feel the pressure brewing behind his eyes. "Everything I had with you, it was nothing. I never Loved you Rome, why do you think I left?" I heard the window on the car smash as he leaned into it for support and I jumped back another step involuntarily. "I tried to leave without hurting your feelings but you just followed me, followed me and tried to kill my.." I couldn't think of any words that could describe what Jake meant to me, and as my words faltered, he saw his chance.

Taking himself off the car he moved toward me with both hands in fists, clutched at his sides. "What is he Ness?" he screamed, part of me hoped that one of the wolves would hear it, and part of me didn't, I couldn't stand it if one of them were hurt by him. "What is that filthy mutt to you? What is he that I couldn't be?" His words were almost pleading now, but there was too much acid on the edges. He reached me again, and a low snarl escaped my throat as he pulled at my arms, trying to coerce them to touch him. I pulled my hands back from him and moved myself lithely a pace away. "You need to leave_ now_, Roman. _Please _don't force me to kill you." His eyes were cool again, and his voice calm and soft, "I don't think you could do it, Babe." The words rang with smugness, taunting me. He leaned forward and placed his hands behind his back and looked back to my eyes, which I am sure were betraying my confidence. "Hit me with your best shot, Love" he pushed his head to the side, laying his cheek open for me. Damn it, I didn't want to do this --- but I had to do something. Instead of pulling my fist back like a teenager, or even crouching myself to lunge as my family would; I stepped closer to him, and laid my shaking hand across his exposed cheek. He smiled a broad smile and stood up straight, placing his hand on top of mine. I threw out every heart breaking image I could think of --- I showed him the more intimate parts of my reunion with Jake in the cave, waking up and finding him naked next to me in my own bed, I showed him the night before…. I let him feel what I felt with Jake's hands teasing me, caressing my body, I let him feel the warmth of his blood running through my entire body and the exquisite taste that came with it…. His grip on my hand tightened and his smile faded. I pushed harder. I let him feel Jake's lips warm on mine, and my legs crumble beneath me as I was carried to the bed. I let him listen to the lullaby I fell asleep to and I replayed the words from this morning in both of our head, 'I want _you_ to come back to bed, with _me._' His grip tightened fiercely, and I heard the bone snap before I felt him pull my throbbing hand away from his face, which was now in a very pained expression. Well, since I've already gone this far, I may as well push it. This time I played my own words in his head, '_I__ could never feel that way about you Roman, it's not even close.' _ Then, just for good measure I added in Jake's words from the night before; 'We could be happy forever Ness.'

Jake's proclamation of Love sent him over the edge. He pulled my arm so that my body turned with my back facing him, I could feel the tiny fragments of my bone falling off of the breaks in my fingers. He put his other arm around me, circling my chest with immense, painful pressure. He let go of my injured hand, and pulled my hair roughly away from my head, exposing my neck. I pulled an arm behind me and dug my nails in his neck, looking to bring back chunks of flesh with it. I pulled at him as hard as I could at such an awkward angle, but I couldn't pull his head far enough away and he bit clean through the granite flesh at the divot below my neck. I felt the teeth scrape against my collar-bone, and I could feel the blood running fluidly into his mouth. Rushing the opposite direction of the blood, I could feel the burn of the venom, slight and concealed at first, then slowly dripping toward my core. I tried to pull away from him, but the fire was like metal; heavying my limbs and slowing my movements. I knew my resistance would seem feeble under his strong grasp. I stopped struggling and focused all my energy into a blow, moving my head forward quickly to weaken his teeth's grip, and pushed backward, ramming my thick skull into his nose. His grip fell as the arm around my waist reached up to his face. He touched the blood running from his nose and looked at it, laughing maniacally with a crazed smile on his face. I staggered forward and placed my broken hand on the car to steady myself, and I turned to face him.

I crouched down, ready to attack at any moment, though unsure of what damage I could actually do. I set my eyes on him, trying to decipher the meaning behind the insane expression. He took a step toward me, and I readied myself to pounce. At the same moment two giant wolves flew over my head, each of them grabbing one of his arms. I looked at the wolves gratefully, and immediately identified them --- Jacob, of course, and Seth. They looked like real dogs here, playing tug-of-war with a small stuffed toy. I cringed and looked away as Jake won the game, and I could hear the sick ripping noise as he pulled away his prize. I looked back, Seth was still holding the other arm in his mouth and pulling, but the sound of Romans screams covered up the second ripping sound. The screaming stopped momentarily, as Roman launched himself at the great wolf that was holding his partially attached arm. Jake caught his throat before his teeth could touch his pack-mate and they shot backwards. The force of being pulled at both angles was too much and after two quick rips the noise stopped. Jake looked at Seth, giving him some kind of command in their own way and he set down the now separate arm a few feet away from the body, taking the head from Jake and turning to run toward the beach. I could see a bright light and smoke, Leah must have already started the fire. I looked down at the body, but my vision was starting to blur and I staggered sideways, sliding against the car until I was on the ground. I was very appreciative that the burning had now reached my stomach, I had no doubt it would have felt very queasy were it not in so much pain.

Jake walked over me to, and put his nose under my chin to lift up my head. He looked apologetically into my wet crimson eyes and nuzzled his head into my slowly healing neck. He sniffed it twice and growled, pushing his now wide, eyes back to mine. I knew he could smell the venom, but I couldn't concentrate on the two large, blurry Jake's I could see in front of me. I put my arms around his thick mane of hair, breathed in his deep woodsy scent and closed my eyes, succumbing to the burning that had now reached the tips of my body.


	13. Jacob's Victory

Chapter Thirteen

I couldn't feel all of myself, but the parts I could feel were burning. It was less now, but still agonizing. For god knows how long, I'd been biting my tongue. Piercing it and tasting the blood and piercing it again when it healed over. I would have to open my eyes to know for sure where I was, but I could smell them all around me. Daddy, Mom, Carlisle, Esme, Jake…. Poor Jake was sleeping in the farthest corner from them on the floor. The others had been here occasionally, but Jasper could never stay in the room for so long, with me here. I imagine I must be like a black abyss in the middle of the room compared to what he's used to feeling. I tried to shield my mind as much as I could when I was awake, but when the pain would rise I would slip…. I would always hear the same wretched gasp from my father at the split second look he got into my head. Sometimes one of them would hold my hand. That was the hardest part. I had to push out everything and bring up my walls…. I had to be very careful to not let anything slip then.

"Carlisle, will it be over soon?" I heard my mother's peal bell voice, longing for her only daughter's pain to end.

"Yes, soon." He replied, and I to was grateful to hear these words. "Her body seems to be rejecting the  
venom, burning it with her own blood. I don't think his venom was strong enough to change her."

"So she's not changing?" Jake whispered from the corner. I hadn't heard his snoring stop. "No Jacob, she'll be mostly the same." My father had pulled the words from Carlisle's mind, but he added his own anger and blame into them and spat them at Jacob.

"Mostly?" Jake asked, I could almost feel the whimper of guilt in his question.

"Of course, part of this is only theory Jacob," Carlisle explained "All of her human anatomy and functions seem the same, aside from the broken fingers, so her human side remains well; her heart has clearly not stopped beating, if anything it is stronger now.." Was that where the loud painful thuds in my chest were coming from?

It was silent for a moment, as Jake waited for the doctor to elaborate. "Her system obviously has some immunity to the venom, being half-vampire herself. Though I don't know if the age of the venom or its potency are variable factors in that. Roman was only technically thirty-five years old, and since he is also a half-vampire, his venom may not be as strong as _true_ venom.

The room was silent except for Jake's fidgeting in the corner, nervous to hear the rest. Carlisle continued, "Whatever changes occur, are purely theoretical. The venom is meant to change a human, and she is half of just that. Often the change brings out dormant gifts and enhances abilities, and I don't think she'll be an exception to that. She may be stronger or faster, she may even feel things more deeply than she did before, and more permanently." "We vampires rarely change, our feelings when we find Love are very similar to your imprinting, practically unbreakable." I knew the last part was for Jacobs benefit.

The room stayed quiet for a time after that, and without the conversation to occupy my thoughts I returned to my silent torment-- mentally writhing back from the pain, even though it was beginning to ebb. Eventually Carlisle left the room, leaving only my parents and Jake. My parents were still, as always. My father made it a show around Jacob, to be as un-human as possible, in the hopes that it would one day scare him off. I'd barely ever seen Jake still though, and I could hear him pacing around the room, too keyed up with worry to sit down.

I don't know exactly how long it had been, being able to hear those around me helped, but with none of them needing sleep, and Jake worrying too much to sleep; I had trouble pinpointing when one day changed to the next. I could feel my body now, and it barely ached. The only burn left in me was my too-fast heart, pounding uncontrollably in my chest. My hand twinged a little, as I clenched it closed. The bone was almost healed. I felt the immediate attention of the people in the room. Damn. I shouldn't have moved.

The burning in my chest stopped abruptly, and my heart skipped a beat. Everyone in the room heard, and I knew they all stood up, even though the only feet I had heard move were Jake's. I felt my breathing become more even, as I listened to the continued hum of my heartbeat. It sounded normal now, not human…. but normal for me. I barely heard the swift steps as Carlisle walked over to me and placed his cold palm on my forehead.

"How are you feeling Renesme?" I opened my eyes and sat up, dazed by the blur in my vision. I reached up and wiped away the crests of sleep pooled into the corners of my eyes. "Fine…. I guess."

"Do you remember what happened?" He had a small flashlight out now, moving it back and forth between my eyes. I whispered, "Yes." My eyes hit the floor immediately, and I could feel the pressure building. I couldn't cry here, not in front of everyone…. I felt the change in emotion smash into me, and I looked up again to smile at Jasper with true appreciation. After a few minutes of random examinations, and putting a splint on two of my fingers I was apparently deemed okay. "Just take it easy for a few days Ness, and go hunting. Soon." With that, Carlisle kissed me on the forehead, followed by a quick hug from Esme before they dashed out of the room. My father's old bedroom in fact, I realized. I turned my head toward the great glass wall, and sighed in contemplation of the bland tastes that were out there that I would be hunting tonight. I'd never minded the taste of the animals before I'd bitten Jake for the first time, but now it just didn't feel like it would satisfy me. I knew what would satisfy me….

I heard a growl from behind me and turned around. Daddy was fuming at my thoughts -- I must have lost the shield when I was dizzy. Shit! I could see the disgust on his face as he turned to look at Jake. I jumped off of the bed, and towards Jake at the same time that Jasper jumped in front of Edward pulling his arms around him tightly. I was crouched in front of Jake protectively. Both of us knew there wouldn't be a physical fight if I was involved.

After a moment in Jaz's arms, Dad looked relatively calm and was released. Jasper stayed near him though, just in case. Behind me, Jake was shifting nervously. I reached out with my mind to tell him to run, but instead my invasion was met with pictures. I could see all of the images in Jake's head, they were passing back and forth so quickly, interchanging. He kept pushing away the memory of us together, moving rhythmically against the wall in his room. He replaced it over and over again with far less graphic memories, and then of distant memories of me as a child. He was trying not to interrogate my father. My hand clamped to my mouth and I let out a soft "Oh!" as I realized what was happening. I had really just read Jacob's mind. It was weird, for the first time seeing into him. I could feel my eyes glaze over as I pushed further into his mind. Brooklyn's birthday party was next week, and his sister might be pregnant again. I almost cried out at the pain of his jealousy. I pushed further.

This memory was sad too, but in a hopeless way that made my heart ache. It was a bar setting, and I could tell Jake was drunk. Girls around the room were staring at him, obviously jealous of the girl he was so reluctantly talking to. I heard the old echoed words in his head, and it was the girl talking;

'_Hey handsome! What are you doing sitting here all by your lonesome?' _She sounded cheery and innocent enough, but I could see from Jake's vision that her eyes were wandering over his large bended frame.

'_Oh c'mon,'_ she said leaning in close to him and breathing on his neck. '_What could a little fun hurt? I don't bite.'_

I almost moved my head as I saw him turned his, looking the girl up and down. I felt angry. Had that girl looked anything like me he might have taken her home.

When he finally talked to her, it sounded cold. _'Why don't you go on back to your friends honey, you're not really my type.'_ I pulled myself out of his head, not wanting to see anymore. I looked into his wide shocked eyes, and pleaded for his understanding. I felt so wrong violating his privacy like that.

I removed my hand from my mouth and turned back to the confrontation at hand. Dad didn't _look_ angry, but I was sure that that was because of Jasper, not because he Loved Jacob fondling me. We stood there in a moment of silence. No one was quite sure how to proceed.

Of course it had to be Jake. "You can't stop us from Loving each other Edward." The words sounded hot on his tongue. I put my palm up to him behind me and muttered, "You don't get to talk anymore."

I was louder this time, "Daddy, what he _meant_ to say was that nothing you do is going to change anything **we** do or feel."I put a lot of emphasis on the word 'we' hoping he would get the point. "We're both grown up and we can do what we want."

My father looked at me and held back a laugh. "Darling…. You're eight."

The fury of my own words startled me, and even Jasper jumped back at them. "_DO I LOOK EIGHT TO YOU?!"_ The energy I gave to the words had shaken me, and I stumbled backwards. Jake's hand met my back, balancing me, enveloping me…. as though he were holding me down to the earth himself. Apparently it was too much for Dad. I heard the loud snarl rip from him, and I saw him pounce so quickly…. I heard the loud crack as Jasper crashed into him and held him. It looked like he was resisting Jaspers emotional climate, but he wasn't trying to break free.

"You need to stop touching her." He said hissing, his eyes wide on Jake's own. I began to feel the arm around me sliding out of place and it pained me to let it go, but now was not the time to push our luck.

"We knew this would happen one day Edward." My mother's soft voice surprised me and I watched as she walked over to him, and replaced Jaspers hold with a softer one. She put her hands around his neck and leaned her head up to him, forcing him to look at her. He reluctantly bent his head to hers, and I knew it was over when I saw the pout set in his lips. "She's only eight, Love. This is absolutely ridiculous." She shushed him playfully, and looked to us. "Jacob has always been my best friend Edward." She looked back at him. "I know in my _soul_ that I couldn't find anyone better for her." Go mom. I knew Dad was destined to fail if Mom started going on about all of our souls. His snarl was low, but it was his only response to her as he looked past her brown waves to us. The look on his face was clear, he was angry, and hurt.

It took a while for anyone to move, the tension in the room was still thick. Jacob looked bored, and Jasper looked nervous. I decided to end it. "Daddy" I said, as I pulled myself way from the only heat in the room.

"We have to go now. Me and Jake okay?" I paused, waiting for some kind of reaction. "We're going to go hunt."

His eyes narrowed, "Any of us can come with you Ness, it doesn't have to be him." Great, apparently the last ten minutes never happened.

"No Dad, just Jake and I are going." I continued walking over slowly, and wrapped an arm around my mom to hug her and kiss her on the cheek. My eyes never left Dads face. I hate that face. Nostrils flared, teeth bared, eyes in slits. Now that was a scary vampire right there.

"We have to get going now Dad." He still didn't move, so I backed away from him. I turned away for a split second, to thank Jasper silently and kiss Alice on the cheek, apologizing for escaping and getting her into trouble. I turned back to him again. "I'll be back in a few days, okay? I Love you…." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny silver cell phone, tossing it towards me. I caught it, confused and looked at it.

"I'll be checking in on you Darling." He turned to Jake, "Frequently." I ignored his warning to Jake and jumped to him, quickly kissing his cheek and whispering "Thanks, Dad." I flew back across the room and pulled Jake by his arm. He looked ecstatic and smug. We jumped out the window and landed easily two stories down.


	14. Not you you, wolf you

Chapter Fourteen- Not you,you. Wolf, you.

I didn't know where we were going as we ran hand in hand through the trees, the leaves, and the animals; part of me didn't care. I couldn't remember the last time we'd run like this, and it seemed like years since my shoulders felt so light. Two and a half years to be exact. I stopped paying attention to the path in front of me, aligning my senses with Jake and trusting my feet to follow his. Instead I turned to his face, his smug smile lighting up his tired features. My shocking revelation from invading his mind before hovered in my own thoughts, but I was careful not to project it to him. I knew that if I tried, I could reach inside him, inside his mind and find the answers to anything I'd ever wanted to ask him. Then I remembered how intrusive it felt.. To rummage around through his personal thoughts, without permission or regards for his privacy. I knew I couldn't, shouldn't do that to him. I knew he wouldn't object if I asked, but it still felt so forceful.

I didn't know we'd stopped running, didn't notice my feet halt and stand next to his. I only noticed when he turned and pulled me towards him that his face had changed. It was no longer the characteristically smug face I'd seen only too often but softer now, with wide cautious eyes scrutinizing me. I pulled my face forward to look down at the ground, replaying the last hour in my head.

"I'm not sure what just happened, really."

I could hear my voice threatening to crack as I said the words, but he smiled widely and pulling his hands to my chin, lifted my face toward his. "We kind of won didn't we?"

I felt my own lips pull apart, and the laughter that followed broke through my stress. "Yeah, I guess we kinda did huh?" Even if I didn't know what that meant for us, the smile on his face as he kissed my forehead reassured me.

"So what do you want to eat babe?" he said looking around us. "We ran pretty far, you could probably find something nice and carnivorous out here."

I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't imagine any animal, carnivorous, exotic or otherwise, possibly being as satisfying as his own unique taste. "Actually I'm not all that thirsty." I could feel the burn in my throat intensify, punishing me for the lie.

"I don't care Ness, the doc said to hunt. So let's hunt." With that, he pulled his jean shorts off of his waist and I looked to the ground again. I knew it was silly to be embarrassed, but that didn't stop the blood from rushing to my cheeks. After a second I looked back up and facing me was the large, furry wolf I'd always known.

I felt his cold nose as he nuzzled his face into mine, and I could see it all again. The smoke billowing in the background, the large russet wolf clutching the neck of the beautiful green-eyed adversary, the sickening rip of the head becoming detached..... I stumbled backwards and squeezed my eyes shut, my head swam in the terrifying images until a loud whine brought me back to reality. I opened my eyes to look at the wolf, and took another step back. The deep black eyes blinked curiously at me, and he bent his head to the side. "I'm s-sorry Jake. Can we just go home?"

He took the final steps toward me, and phased fluently to match his stride. He wrapped one arm around my waist and caressed my face with the other. "What's wrong Babe?"

I pulled my head away from him but the arms around my waist held me secure. "Nothing Jake. I... I'm just tired. Can we go home?" He looked at me in confusion, before finally conceding. "Yeah, we'll go home." I ran ahead of him this time, focusing on each step in front of me rather than the hurt behind me.

When we got back to the house, I didn't bother looking for the key hidden above the door. I walked through the unlocked door straight up to the master bedroom, attempting to ignore the tension in Jake as he followed behind me. Mercifully he stopped at the kitchen, and I went ahead. When I reached my destination, I shut the door behind me. I pulled my clothes off and walked over to the bath, turning on and adjusting the water. I lay back on the cold porcelain letting the water pool around me and finally turning it off.

Why did Jake's wolf form freak me out so badly? Just because I'd never seen him in the act, doesn't mean I didn't know he'd destroyed vampires before... I don't know why I would have expected it to be any different either... I'd had combat training with Jaz and Em, and that's the same thing they'd taught me... I guess I'd just never thought of Jake as dangerous before, and that gut wrenching sound of vampire flesh being torn... I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about it..

"Hey can I come in?" I heard the words following a light knocking, and the door opening up just enough for Jake to stick his face through. He was looking away from me, so I couldn't tell if this was going to be a fight or making up. "Yeah, you can come in."

He closed the door behind him quietly and traipsed lightly over to the bath, sitting Indian style next to it with his chin resting on the edge and his hands swirling through the hot water. I sat up and pulled my legs up to my chest, but didn't say anything. He sighed.

"Do you wanna tell me what that was about? Back there in the woods..."

"Whenever I figure it out, sure."

He sighed again. "You looked really freaked Ness. Was it... was it me?"

I closed my eyes in thought, and opened them again. "I don't think it was you, you. I think it was wolf, you. I'm not sure how to explain it exactly."

His eyes furrowed, and a frown cut across his perfect lips. "It's because I killed Roman." It wasn't a question.

"Not exactly. I just.... I wish I didn't have to see." I shuddered thinking of the sound. "Or hear." I wrapped my arms around my knees and wrapped my hands together, and stared at them intently. I felt Jake's hot arms wrap around me, and pull me through the water towards him. I laid my head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent and wishing I had hunted.

"I'm sorry Jake. I've just never even thought about you killing anyone. I've never seen you like that." I looked up at him, and caught his hands in mine resting on my chest.

"Don't feel bad Babe," he said, pulling me tighter and kissing the top of my head. "it's my fault he was able to get to you in the first place. If I hadn't left you there, none of this would have happened."

I lifted my head up, taken aback. "Don't blame yourself. I should have been able to take care of him myself. I just... froze." I shrugged myself out of his embrace, and used his hand to steady myself as I stood up. I would have to hunt in the morning, I really was quite thirsty. And exhausted to, I realized as I stumbled my way out of the bath, only with Jake catching me did I keep from falling.

"I don't think that's true Ness," he said as I pulled a long nightshirt on. "I think you're just too damn decent to kill anyone. Even if they are evil."

I took his hand and followed behind him back to the bedroom, and crawled next to him onto the bed itself. I buried myself in him- with my face in his chest and his arms wrapped around my body. When I finally succumbed to sleep, all I could see was the venom blurred vision of the wolf, my wolf, triumphantly carrying the head of my once savior; but thankfully, all I could hear was the soft whispering hum of a quiet song being sung in my ear.


	15. A quick fix

Chapter fifteen - An easy fix.

I woke up feeling even more haggard than when I went to bed, and I only startled myself awake because I could no longer stand to be in the nightmare anymore. I sat up and looked around. Great, no Jake. Next to me on the bed was left a note. I picked it up;

Ness, hopefully I get back before you wake up. Just went to check in with the pack. Be back before you know it. I Love you.

And by it, the small silver cell phone from my father was left. "Hmm, I'm surprised Daddy hasn't called yet." I flipped it open to look at the screen and check the time but the screen was blank. I never even thought it would need turned on... I held the button and watched as the screen lit up and the flashing lights and alerts popped up. Eight missed calls, wonderful. I pressed the redial button and laid back down on the soft pillows, putting my arm over my eyes to protect them from the morning sun. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hey Daddy, sorry I didn't know the phone was off."

"Where are you Renesme?" It was hard to hear such a soft voice so full of anger.

"I'm at ho.. I'm at Jake's Dad. I just woke up. Sorry." I didn't know why I was apologizing, where did he think I'd be?"

His voice was softer now, "How are you feeling Darling? Did you hunt like your Grandfather told you to?"

"No actually, I was kinda really exhausted, I took a bath and went straight to sleep" That's good, don't leave any room for perverted accusations, only sleeping.

"I'm glad you got your rest, but Carlisle and I both will feel better once you're hunted. You need to regain your strength. Fighting the venom took a lot out of your system."

He was right, but really the whole damn ordeal took a lot out of me. "Yeah, I think your right Dad, I'm not feeling too great."

"Do you want me to come get you? I can. We can hunt together." Somehow I got the feeling that no matter what the situation was he would come get me, just to get me away from Jake. I don't think anything would be any better between them since Dad saw what he saw in Jake's head.

"No, it's okay. I'm gonna go with Jake when he gets back from his pack meeting."

The phone was silent for a moment, I wasn't sure what to say here to make him feel any better, so I didn't bother. "I think I'm gonna go Dad. Get up with the sun and all that good stuff. I'll call you later tonight okay?"

"I'll call you. Soon. Darling, I Love you." "I Love you to, Daddy."

I pulled the covers off of me and made my way clumsily to the bathroom. Peeling off my nightshirt I replaced it with Jake's cutoffs from the night before, and feeling very lazy I pulled the first shirt out of my drawer and put my arms through. A tank top, of course. If my hair wasn't four feet long I'd look like a boy. I walked past my shoes, not even bothering and made my way down the stairs and out of the house. There was really no way I was waiting for Jake to go hunt. First of all, well... look how that turned out last time. Second of all, I needed to feed now.

As soon as I reached the end of the yard and hit the trees, I broke into a run. I just had to get off of the reservation. I was kind of exempt from the treaty, but Daddy still said it was safer to hunt off the Quillette land. I ran North, away from any claimed land, and boundry lines and probably to an entirely new place. All I saw was the trees for miles, and when I finally found a good spot I stopped.

I perched myself in a tall tree, and waited for the wildlife below to go back to their habits and let their guard down. Down the way, along the river I could see the herd of elk taking their fill of the lake. I crept closer to them, silently gliding from tree to tree until I was very near to them. I could not hold back the thirst anymore, and I pounced.

Not one of them survived.

I had run most of the way back, but closer to Forks I slowed. Not to a walk really, but much slower than normal. After all it was a nice day out and I really could use the time to think. I breathed in the air around me. I could taste faint traces of my family here, the Cullens and the wolves. I slowed to a walk and looked around me. This clearing looked so familiar, like I'd been here several times before.

I walked to the very center and lay down in the grass. I closed my eyes and listened to my own thoughts.

I shouldn't be afraid of Jake, well wolf Jake.

But I also shouldn't be fighting my natural feelings.

I knew that the situation with Roman was going to end badly, but did he really have to die?

I swirled these and other thoughts around in my head, trying to push them all together stubbornly and find some unanimous answer, an epiphany, or even just some clarity. An easy fix. I couldn't think of one.

I heard a rustled in the brush at the edge of the clearing and sat up. I looked to see the small gray wolf looking back at me. "You wouldn't happen to be keeping an eye on me now would you Leah?" I quick bark was all she gave back to me, and she turned and ran out of sight. It only took minutes for Jake to get there.

I saw the great russet wolf walking towards me, but I couldn't bear to look. Eventually I felt the nose against my neck trying to lift my eyes away from the ground and I heard the very Jake-like whine begging me to look into the great big black eyes... I just couldn't.

"Please Jake... don't." I felt the air before me tremble, and in seconds he was standing there. As tanned and gloriously handsome as ever. He reached to his ankle and untied his shorts, pulling them on and sat on the ground in front of me.

"Better?" he asked with a sigh.

"Yeah, thanks." The words sounded as guilty as I felt.

Immediately, I felt Jake's hand on my face, comforting me. I couldn't help but to lean into it. "Babe c'mon, we'll work through this. Just like we work through everything else. You'll see."

He leaned forward and kissed the top of my head, my nose, my lips... I breathed in that amazing woodsy scent that intoxicated me so, and brought back the most sated thirst. I could easily understand why some people became addicts...

He pulled his lips away from mine, and pushed the hair back out of my face. "Are you feeling better?" he asked. "You're eyes are back to their normal color. No red at all."

"Yeah, I went out this morning." I looked around. "Not quite sure how I ended up here though. Seems like I've been here before."

Jake looked around, squinting his eyes to hide them from the direct sunlight that reached the elevated altitude. "Yeah, we've been here before. When you were real little." It must not have been a very important day, since he didn't really seem to care to talk about it. I sighed and pulled myself around, fitting my body to rest on the ground between his legs.

He pulled my hair to the side away from him, and kissed my neck. In turn, I took his arm, and starting at the crook I kissed my way to his wrist, inhaling slowly. Appreciating the fiery desire that no longer seemed happy to burn only my throat. He stopped me there, as I meant to kiss his palm. I pulled my head up and back to look at him, but he nudged my head forward again and leaned his head back into my neck.

"Everything in me is already yours Ness, all you have to do is take it."

The words did not stop his lips from tasting my skin, and I knew that he meant it that way. I hesitantly pulled his wrist to my mouth, and slowly bit through the soft flesh. Once again, I could feel the ecstasy of the finest, most potent taste to quench the most potent thirst... To feel true life, and true Love coursing through my veins. More than any animal, and more than any human, but my all too willing true Love.

I couldn't have been more lost in him than I was. I didn't notice her until she was already too close for any introductions.

"That just can't taste good Renesme." A surprised and dangerous snarl escaped my lips as I jumped up and crouched protectively in front of Jacob. "That's not really any of your business Jane."

"Just saying. The smell alone is had enough to stand, just a friends opinion that's all." She smiled coyly, willing me to disagree. I stood up from my crouch, but stayed in front of Jake. I reached back and took his quivering hand in mine, projecting to him. 'Stay quiet, and stay behind me.' I knew it would take him much restraint to hold his shape together now.

"And to what do I owe this.... pleasure, Jane?" I smiled to myself for my oh-so-subtle catty retaliation.

"Actually, it was only happenstance I came across you here. I had meant to deliver the message personally to you at the Cullen residence. It's good I've run into you though since you're obviously not at home."

"And what message is this you're delivering?" She wasn't a big enough pain in my ass when I was in Italy, so I guess she had to come find me here and give me grief.

"Oh, just an invitation from Aro. He misses you and your half breed friend Roman so dearly, and wishes to see you again." I could feel the tension in my arms, and I hoped she wouldn't pick up on it too much. I reiterated my thoughts again to Jake. 'Say nothing.'

"Roman has gone his own way I'm afraid. Demetri hiding back there could have told you that he was not here. Sorry to disappoint you though."

She nodded and waved her hand. "I will not be sad if we cannot find Roman. He was such an annoying young thing." I could feel Jake fighting off some kind of fit behind me. With the way he was shaking though I wasn't sure if it was from trying not to phase or trying not to laugh. I felt him still when Jane looked at him, and I squeezed his hand for assurance.

"Nonetheless, Aro will be expecting your visit soon. You'll just have to find a different plus one." She looked back at Jake. "I don't recommend bringing your repulsively bad smelling lap dog though, he might not be able to take care of himself and we'd never get the smell out of the carpets. See you soon."

..And with that she was gone.

I turned around slowly, focusing my energy on staying calm. Jakes entire frame was still vibrating. "Calm down Jake..." I breathed to him as I put my arms around his torso and pressed my head against his chest. I really wish I had worn some kind of shoes, he was too ridiculously tall. "Please, baby. I need you to calm down now."

I felt the tension release his hands from their balled up position and slowly they wrapped around my waist. After a few minutes I felt the outrageously loud ringing from my pocket and pulled the phone out and answered it angrily.

"That scared the shit out of me Dad!"

"Sorry, Darling. Tell me what happened. Alice saw Jane coming to the house and we prepared for her, but then she disappeared..."

"Look it's okay Dad, just uhm.. ask Alice to look ahead at Italy for me and let me know when it disappears."

"I don't think that will work, Love."

"Well, tell her to try okay? I gotta go, I will call you later." I didn't wait for a response before I shut the phone and tucked it back into the jeans pocket.

I kissed his chest softly and pulled my hand out from around him. "Let's go home Jake."


	16. Mine

Chapter 16 - Mine.

The journey home seemed endless and quiet. I was glad. I knew that I would have to find some way to convince Jake that he couldn't come to Italy with me. I couldn't even think about having him that close to Volterra.. The thought alone made my skin crawl with fear.

When we finally reached the house, I barreled through the door, running inhumanly fast through the house, through the bedroom and to the bathroom. I opened the drawers furiously, pulling out the clothes and piling them on the counter. As I pulled the duffel bag out of the bathroom closet I heard Jake enter the room behind me.

"Are we leaving tonight?" He pulled himself onto the counter and pulled socks onto his feet.

"No, Jake. I..." I knew he wouldn't let me go without him. I stopped my packing, pacing the room. "Not tonight. I just... I'm not sure when yet. If I ignore the invitation he'll come here. I can't have that."

"Well, we'll wait a couple of days and figure this out okay Babe?" He gently hopped down from the counter top. He followed my pacing across the room unnoticed, causing me to jump as I turned around and found him so close. He placed his arms firmly around me as I ran my hand over my forehead and backwards through my hair.

"Calm down, Ness. We'll give it a couple days, talk to your folks... You can't just go by yourself. You don't even know what they want."

Rolling my eyes didn't seem expressive enough, so I forced out a low snarl in exasperation. As he kissed the top of my head and rested his chin there, I grudgingly wrapped my arms around his torso. "I know what Aro wants Jake... He wants me."

He lifted his chin off of my head and pulled himself back. "What do you mean he wants you?"

"He's obsessed with my whole existence. He finds it fascinating that I even exist. He wants to know everything that I'm capable of, and he wants me close to him to do it."

I pulled my head off of his chest and looked up at his confused face. "He wants me to stay there, and not as a visitor this time but as a member of the guard. A servant." I almost spat venom at the last words.

"Well that's it then isn't it?" he said. Pulling the hard lines back into his face. "You're not going."

"Jake, I have to go. I'm not going to stay, don't worry, but I have to go." This time I pulled my body away from his. "We'll wait a couple of days, and I'll talk to my parents. It's just so complicated, and I need to get everything cleared up."

"It doesn't seem that complicated to me, Ness. We can just go and tell them you're not interested in joining their stupid club and then we'll come home."

I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with this argument. So much had happened in my time with the Volturi, and I'd done things he wouldn't understand. Even if he'd forgive me, and he would, it would still hurt him to know. I pushed myself up on my toes as far as I could go, it was only his chin but he bent down to reach me kissing me back softly. I took his hand in mine and led him back to the bedroom. The sun was still out, but I could see the purple beginning in the tops of the clouds and I knew it wouldn't be out for long.

He sat on the edge of the bed and waited for me to join him. Instead I stood in front of him, and slowly started peeling the clothing off of my hot skin. Even though I knew this was a sad moment, I enjoyed his eyes on every part of me.

"What are you doing, Ness." I could swear a heard a nice loud gulp following the words. I let the remaining clothing fall to the floor, and I pulled my naked body on top of his lap, straddling him "I'm taking what's mine"


	17. It's just like going to Disney World,

Chapter 17 - It's just like going to Disney World, Except I might die when I get there.

I pushed the covers off of me absentmindedly, and stretched out. It was amazing how I never seemed to have an inch of me that didn't fit on this bed. And even more amazing, it still fit Nessie's tiny self on it to. I reached my arm out to pull her towards me,so that I could feel her hummingbird pulse against me – and know that she was safe. As I reached further across the bed I felt nothing but the softness of the sheets and eventually... a thin paper, folded in half.

I brought the paper to my face and opened my eyes to read it.

I'm sorry it had to be this way, but I can't have you near them. I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to you. Stay close to my heart Jake, and I'll be home soon. I could see the red in my eyes and I could feel the tremor on my spine. I didn't have time to fight it, so I ran to the glass door onto the balcony and jumped down as I phased. I knew it would only take me minutes to get where I was going.

As I ran I ignored the boundary lines. I ran straight past them, past the cottage to the main Cullen house. I screamed in my head.

"Edward get out here! We have a problem!" After a second I added, "Bring pants!"

It only took a moment, and he was on the porch. He tossed the clothes in my direction.

I replayed the visit from Jane in my mind, and I replayed what Renesme had told me the night before. I was careful to leave out how she had distracted me from her words.

'We have to leave, Edward. Now.'

He thought silently to himself for what seemed like the longest moment before he answered. "I'll call the airport."


	18. What's better than visiting old friends?

Chapter 18 – What's better than visiting old friends?

I thought the first flight had been long, but after I crossed over onto this one... I knew I was wrong. Something about the words 'seven hour flight' just did not appeal to me. I didn't know what to do with the time. I'd brought nothing but a carry-on bag. It had clothes and a tooth brush, toothpaste and mouthwash. (Just because I was immortal didn't mean I wanted horrible brown teeth.)

I'd seen the in flight movie before. It was old and I'd seen it when it first came out four years ago, when I'd begged Jake to drive us into town to see at the theater. Besides nostalgia, I really had to reason to watch it. So I was sitting with my knees against my chest in the seat with my eyes closed. Even without having purchased the headphones I could still hear the movie through the other passengers headphones. Maybe this was why immortals had so much money, saving on things that you could just use your powers to do.

After trying to entertain myself and keep my mind off of where I was going, I ran out of options. I looked around me at the people. So obviously peaceful it made me envious. What would it be like to have a normal life? I could have been born, and grew, and gone to school... and then I could have died at a ripe old age with children and grandchildren. I could probably still do that now, minus the dying part.

Part of me knew that Aro would ask, and part of me would beg him not to. Why did he have to be so damn interested? I know he had wanted it with Roman... but it had been such a sick experiment. If I had gone through with Aro's plans... Would two half-vampires just create another half vampire or a fourth vampire? What would a half vampire and a full vampire create? What would a half vampire and werewolf create? I swirled the thoughts around in my head. I didn't think it was even possible, but Aro hoped and believed it was. I'd been his test subject when I first arrived at Volterra. I was looking for an escape and he was looking for a test subject.

He treated me better than the rest, I was his favorite. He adored my abilities and he yearned to know what lay ahead for me and what I could do. It was win-win. But when he'd gone too far, I'd vanished. I seemed to do that a lot, apparently. I wasn't really sure how this visit would go. I decided it was time to distract myself...

I pulled myself out of my own thoughts and for the first time (on purpose anyways), plunged into another's. Two seats ahead was a woman, mid forties maybe, sleeping in her seat with the headphones resting on her neck. I ripped my way into her subconscious, watching her twitch a little as I entered her dream. After only a moment I could help but laugh, and it broke my concentration and I was pulled back into my own head. I didn't believe people still had nightmares about vampires, but the one in my dream reminded me incredibly of Uncle Emmett. I spent a good amount of time practicing, sifting through thought after thought, memories, dreams and nightmares. Eventually I fell asleep.

I woke up to the flight attendant nudging my arm. "Ms. Cullen? We'll be landing soon, I'll need you to put your safety belt on." I half mumbled a response as I fastened my belt and the man walked away. I sat up straight in my seat, a roll of dizziness and realization washed over me and I put my hand to my forehead. I suddenly remembered my reason for being here. I wish I didn't.

When I walked off the terminal and out into the parking garage I put my bags strap over my shoulder, and I took off. There wasn't anyone around, and I was fast enough to get there before the sun came up.

It took me only an hour to reach the place, and minutes to weed my way through the early morning guard in the streets below. I followed the familiar scents rather than my memory and soon found my way to the underground alley. Taking the long way I walked through the halls and made my way to the extravagant reception area. The girl at the desk was not familiar, and I did not present myself to her. I crept by her quietly and made my way to the great double doors and slipped myself through silently.

My entrance was not unnoticed, as I found myself being pulled into the air and spun around. "Felix! I'm gonna barf on you if you don't stop!" Through the false threat I could feel the corners of my lips turning up and the laughter escaping. Finally he set me down and turned me to face him. I put my hand to my forehead and feigned nausea until I heard the deep brutish voice laughing back at me. "So what's up Renesme? What are you doing here?" If I could ever have fallen in Love with someone here, it would have been Felix. As it was, he had gotten as close to me as I would allow. If Roman and I hadn't gone looking for he other half-vampires, Felix might have one day been more than my best friend... but that didn't matter now.

"Ahh, Renesme. Our guest of honor." I looked past Felix to the other end of the room. Aro had risen from his chair, smiling widely, I could see the bemused smile on Marcus' face and the absolute boredom of Caius'. "I hope we find you well, dear one? But where is our old friend Roman?"

I placed a hand on Felix's shoulder, and moved past him and across the room. I greeted my host warmly and took his hand in both of mine, bowing lightly. As I touched his translucent skin I shared my memory with him. The green eyes man leaning against Jacobs car, him forcing himself on me, my wolf protectors... tearing him apart. I cringed away from the metallic tearing sound, the one that had haunted my dreams ever since.

I pulled away from him then, afraid to give him too much time to root around through my thoughts. "I am sorry, child. And I hope that time may heal your wounds."

"As do I, Aro, as do I." I pushed aside the thoughts in my head and brought myself back to the present. Even though I knew the answer, I had to ask: "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your personal invitation?"

"That can wait until tomorrow my dear. If I remember correctly you require sleep and your room is the same as you left it. I'm sure you're quite tired after your travels."

Well, I was pretty tired. I chewed on my lip, debating, but a yawn escaped my lips; betraying me. I was pretty jet-lagged. I smiled slyly at my self, and felt a cold, familiar hand envelope mine. "C'mon, Ness. I'll walk you to your room."

I waved to Aro and the guards, giving a mischievous smile to Jane on my way out and I followed the extremely large vampire down the elegant hallways. We reached the familiar door and I felt Felix's large stone arms wrap around me. I felt the cool breathe breeze above my ear, "I've missed you Renesme."

He put his hands on my shoulders and pulled away, looking down at me. "It's been too long since I seen that smile." And with a kiss on the top of my head he was gone. I hated when he did that, I could probably find him... but I really was pretty tired. So instead I let my voice fall in with the air, knowing he would hear it. "I'll see you in the morning then!"

I crept through the silent room and slumped my bag onto the floor, crawling into the soft velvet pillows and quickly falling asleep.

When I got out of bed I turned on my cell phone and looked at the time. The time difference was amazing, and apparently I'd slept till six in the afternoon. I had several missed calls from both Jake and Daddy, but I turned ignored them and turned the phone off again. I'll be leaving soon enough, and I'd take whatever Hell was waiting for me when I returned. I pulled myself across the room to my bag, where a robe had been placed for me. Probably Felix trying to be sweet, or Jane trying to be a bitch. Either way I wasn't completely comfortable in it, so I pulled the tight fitting jeans under, left the hood down and only clasped it together from my belly button to above my breasts. If it was Jane, she'd be awful pissed when she saw me.

I made my way quickly back through the halls and stopped outside the main chamber. I could hear the one choked scream, all the crowd would be able to manage before they were decimated. Damn, I always picked the worst time to show up.

I spent a long time sitting with my back to the large double door entrance, just waiting. I could hear when everyone had finished their meal, and I could hear when the bodies had been cleared from the room. Eventually I stood, and I forced myself into the room. Felix was beside me in an instant, his arm around my shoulder. "How'd ya sleep, kid?"

"Ugh, not great. It was a little colder than what I'm used to." I'd missed my werewolf heater. "Right," he replied. "Like you weren't a brick as soon as you hit the sheets. I could practically hear you snoring in here."

"Har, har." I mimicked a fake laugh at him.

I scanned the room, looking for my host and my eyes came across witch twin one. From the look in her eyes I would bet she had been the one to place the robe in my room. I gave her a nice antagonistic grin before turning back to my friend.

"So where's Aro gone?" Marcus and Caius were in their thrones, but I thought I should really wait.. Caius wanted me not to exist, and Marcus acted as though I didn't. So I wasn't going to get a good conversation out of either of them. "Oh, he'll be back soon. He's off checking on things and giving orders. Y'know... boss stuff."

Right. Boss stuff. Probably killing someone for failing, or making a mistake or not doing what they're told. Which here, would be a mistake. I barely listened as he described today's offenders fault. I brought my eyes back to Jane and watched her snake like stare.

"Hey, you'll like tackle her or something if she tries to burn me right?" I took the loud booming laugh as a yes. "I know she's not supposed to but she does not seem happy to see me."

"Oh, she'll get over it." He nodded, looking to her. "She never got over the fact that Aro liked you better. She's never not been the favorite before." Yeah, that sounded like her.

I heard the doors open swiftly and without a blink Aro was back in his seat, obviously no worse for the wear. "Good afternoon, child. I was wondering how long you would keep us waiting."


End file.
